The Test Subject
by TuttiFrutti999
Summary: She had no past, no future, no name. So what was it that made an easy mission such a convoluted one? And what made Deidara fall so hard for an overweight girl who was so utterly, totally disposable?  DeidaraXOC
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue…**_

It was cold, to say the least. Water trickled into the strangest places, lichen grew matted in corners – really, if one were to touch it, one would have recoiled and bounded down the corridor because _something_ slimy and cold was there.

Of course, that never happened. This was not the home of any ordinary person – no, the _Akatsuki_ lived here.

But we can suppose that even the Akatsuki – tough, cruel, sadistic mercenaries – liked the comfort of sunlight and not being constantly damp.

Guess that was the downside of living in a freakin' _cave_.

And, for heaven's sake, there was only _one girl_ in the whole base. And even _she_ was taken.

Life really, really sucked.

* * *

"Is everyone present?"

"Yes, Leader-sama," Came the cold drawl of Uchiha Itachi. Really, no-one had yet topped him for coldness – apart from Akasuna no Sasori, maybe, but that was accounting for the fact that he was a _puppet_.

"Very well. As you know, Orochimaru is growing ever stronger" Leader-sama called out, voice echoing off the wet, grey walls. He nodded towards Sasori. "We _cannot_ allow that. So, I propose we do something about it."

"And what is that, hm?" Spoke a blonde male (though one who really _could_ pass for a girl), fiddling with something strong-smelling.

A red-head spoke up – a mere boy, no more than fifteen. "Simple. We take one of _his_ test subjects and gather information."

"Oh yeah, Danna? You say that like breaking into Orochimaru's hideout is nothing, hm. How are we going to get this slaving little 'test subject'?"

"See, brat, I would explain to you, but I'm not sure your tiny mind could cope with the information." Was the smooth reply. The group sunk into a few minutes of silence, until a severely pissed-off looking man with slicked-back hair spoke up.

"We _lure_ her in, Goddammit!"

"Hidan, how did you ever become a ninja? You really wanna seduce a _guy_?"

Hidan scowled. "Shut the hell up. If it's a chick, I can do it. If it's a guy, we have Konan, y'know."

Leader-sama scowled. Blue-haired Konan shifted slightly in her seat – 'seducing' was _not_ part of the job.

A fishy looking man (literally) piped up. "Wait; _is_ it a girl, or a guy?"

Leader-sama sighed. "Quiet, everyone. To settle this matter, yes, it is a girl. Test number 37. She has special abilities – possibly the result of Orochimaru's fiddling, or a Kekkei Genkai. Itachi – I want you to get her. Leave tomorrow."

Itachi nodded, slinking back into the nearest shadow. He would receive the full instructions in private – the less people who knew about missions, the better.

Hidan leered. "I hope the chick's hot."

Sasori smirked. "If she has a Kekkei Genkai… oh, the art that could be made…" He wandered back to his room, mind full of plans and ideas for a new puppet.

Kakuzu – "She better be good with the cards."

Kisame sighed in anticipation. "Man, we definitely need a chick round here. Damn."

Deidara stopped before leaving the room. "Hm, so, what's her name?"

Leader-sama looked up in mild surprise. "Test Number 37? She has no name."

* * *

Itachi let his shoulders relax a little as Deidara left the room.

He cleared his throat. "My mission, Leader-sama?"

"Ah. You must obtain and return with Test Number 37. Do not harm her – we need her total co-operation if we want knowledge that could provide superiority in battle."

"Explain."

Leader-sama allowed himself the tiniest secret smile. "I mentioned special abilities before, no? This girl can _hear_ chakra – not manipulate it, like Sound nin, but sense, determine and place chakra with sound, smell and taste. There is no limit to this ability – one could block her senses and she could still use it. A powerful ability, no doubt. Sasori's subordinates have assured us that she has never once been wrong in her judgement. Whatever Orochimaru is doing – it's working."

Itachi frowned. "I suppose. It could certainly be useful in many missions. But the girl – she has no battle experience whatsoever, does she?"

Leader-sama chuckled darkly. "That is the thing. Her skill – it is not a jutsu. _It can be learnt_. Once we have mastered it, Test Number 37 can easily be disposed of."

* * *

Miles away, one girl stretched her toes to the crowing of a rooster. The cold, grey dawn light glanced off the translucent skin of her eyelids; making her wince, coil her rather large body unto itself. Around her was the rustle of blankets, of voices, yet she refused to get up just _now_, savouring the last few moments of scant warmth, of lingering sleep.

Someone pulled the sheets from around her with a sharp jerk – the girl's eyes flew open, all sleepiness gone.

Test Number 37 was awake.

* * *

**Here's chapter one of The Test Subject… and seriously, it will get slightly more entertaining from hereon. Emphasis on the 'slightly', but I hope you give this story a chance XD**

**Reviews would be stared at in awe :D**

**Xx Tutti**


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: '37' is the main character's name.**

**Note again: I don't know what life inside Otogakure was like, so I'm making it up. Bear with me!**

37 curled and uncurled her toes, waiting with baited breath for the ice-cold rush of water to come flooding down upon her. She may have lived at Otogakure for all her life (18 years, to be exact), but 37 had never gotten used to the chillingly brutal rivers.

"Eeeep!" She squealed, earning a dismissive glance from the other girls in her barracks. In this cold village, strength, courage and toughness were valued above all.

_They had to be_.

For some reason – some sick, convoluted reason – a barrack was chosen each day, and taken away at dawn. Some were frozen in a mental trance when they came back, or alive and buzzing with energy.

Some came back after a few days, or weeks, scarred or bruised or shell-shocked.

Some never came back at all.

37 stiffened, glancing up from the swirling grey depths of the stream, the hair on her neck stiffening, as colours and smells and taste flooded her mind. Darkly opalescent shades swirled her vision. The smell of rotted undergrowth, with a hint of something that could be tansy, or mint, permeated her nose. And above all, she smelt the rich, metallic taste of… peaches?

Really, peaches?

37 shook her head, turned her head down, and wondered why her stomach was so – so _lumpy_.

"Whatever." She muttered to herself, scrubbing at her right ear, "It's normal. I get it all the time." Actually, for 37, this _was_ normal – quite often, all those different colours and smells attacked her, especially when someone new was near her. It was like she categorized each and every person who walked by.

_And_, thought 37, _that __may__ just be the reason why everyone treats me like a freak around here. Maybe not all of them feel what I feel… along with the fact that I'm downright ugly…_

Dragging her rough brown clothes over her round thighs, 37 wandered back to the camp, where the smell of green tea greeted her. She smiled appreciatively, ignoring the usual comments of 'fatass' and 'greedy pig!'

37 tucked herself at the side of a fallen log, right at the edge of the clearing, facing the coniferous forest. She let the mist envelope her, let it shut off sight and sound, until 37 was in a hazy, damp cocoon. The mist was her armour here, there was nothing to poke at her, insult or berate her looks, her clumsiness –

"Oi! Debu (fatso)! Give us your food then – you've had enough!" A hand protruded from the mist, jabbing at 37's ample stomach. It was Murasaki's slender hand, along with the rest of her slender body. Murasaki was beautiful – and she flaunted it. The village boys hung around her, the girls worshipped the ground she walked on.

But the thing that got to 37 the most was that Murasaki had a _name_. She was not a number – with a name came an identity. 37 had no identity.

Curling further into herself, 37 batted away Murasaki's prodding fingers. "My my, debu, someone's getting _fat_, no? What do you do, break into the food-store at night?"

"Go away."

Murasaki laughed. "Oh? Really? Why should I have to listen to a _number_, 37? How are you gonna stop _me_?"

_The mist – the mist – the mist – nothing but the mist and me and my green tea – green tea – green tea_ –

"Stupid hag! You're ugly, _and_ you have no brains! Didn't you hear what I was _saying_?"

"Green tea!" 37 blurted out, shaking her head.

"URGH!" Murasaki screamed, shaking her magnificent black locks and stomping away angrily. 37 exhaled quietly, sucking in great gulps of cool air. She felt something sting her cheeks, and didn't bother to check what it was.

Tears were a familiar part of her life.

You see, 37 often wondered what the _hell_ she was doing here. With thick, impenetrable forest all around the tiny village - it was more like a camp really – cold, cold beds and meals and pity. And… and every month… meeting that _man_…

A shudder rolled down 37's spine. His greased black hair… the abnormally long tongue… the way he moved with inhumane grace… and the feel of him. The plain grey despair. The sickeningly sweet smell of chloroform. The smell of coppery, heavy blood…

A way away, the breakfast-bell rang, along with the familiar calls of 'okayu!' (it was always okayu). 37 jumped up, incredibly light on her feet as so many large people are, feigning nonchalance and soothing her rumbling stomach.

When food was in the question, _nothing_ stopped Test Number 37.

But fifteen minutes later, the scent of peaches made her jump violently.

* * *

In the shadows of the forest, Itachi watched the girl.

He knew the signs – he saw her look dazed and faint as he dared a step closer to her. Test Number 37's gaze swivelled to exactly where he was standing – even though he knew she couldn't see him, Itachi waited with baited breath. How could this plain girl pinpoint him, when three-dozen guards couldn't?

She was a forlorn looking thing, he mused. Easy to ensnare. He may not even need Sharingan – a few simple words and the girl would be his for the taking. No seduction involved.

Even though Uchiha Itachi did not usually think thoughts like these normally, he very much hoped he wouldn't have to _carry_ her.

**

* * *

**

Chapter TWO, people! I know it's slow and boring enough to make you gouge your eyes out with a spoon XD

**Xx Tutti**


	3. Chapter 3

**Now the real story begins…**

**Not really, but at least 37 meets an Akatsuki member here -_-**

"Pssst! Hey, everyone, listen!" A trembling voice cut through the barracks. 37's ears perked up, but she knew she wasn't invited into the discussion.

"What is it, Azami?" Murasaki growled, rubbing her eyes fiercely. Azami clambered onto her bed, clapping her hands to wake everyone up. They did so, with moans of complaint.

"Tomorrow…" that single word struck fear into 37's heart. "Tomorrow, _he's_ coming. For _us_."

37 froze. Whispers of pure fear wracked through the barracks – and 37, recalling his face, his too-cold skin, shuddered.

One phrase repeated itself again and again.

_It was Test Day tomorrow_.

Tomorrow, she could die.

* * *

As the world trembled with new promise, pinks and golds and greens splashed across the earth, 18 girls from cabin 3 trekked fearfully across the grass. They were not bound, or chained, but they walked like animals doomed to the slaughterhouse.

_It's because we are like animals to a slaughterhouse… except, some of us might just survive_

37 allowed herself this tiny hope – she had survived so far, hadn't she? And the scariest part wasn't what they did to her – to _her_ anyway. She had not been hurt so far. It was the _helplessness_, the _apprehension_ that ate at her. In front of that man… that Orochimaru-sama… 37 realised just how very insignificant she really was.

There was a sweet, metallic scent in the air – not of chloroform though. Not Orochimaru's scent.

It was, once again, the smell of _peaches_.

It came from the trees around her – 37 turned instinctively towards the copse of evergreens to her right. That was strange – how could peaches be in a pine forest? Cloudy colours shadowed her vision. "Again?" she whispered, stopping and stumbling into Test Number 33.

"What's again?" 33 whispered back, grinning an easy smile at 37. 37 shook her head doggedly – why exactly was 33 bothering to talk to her? Ah – that's right – 33 was in _love_ these days.

"N-nothing. Say," 37 amended hastily. "How are your sun catchers going?"

33 beamed, fishing a string on which twisted metal and glass bits dangled. She held the chain in the air, the odd charms glinting beautifully in the light. Beams of light danced on the floor, shot through with red-purple from the glass.

"Wow. Didn't you hurt yourself making it though?"

"A little, but I had Fuyu helping." 33's face turned dreamy again, and 37 turned away, jealousy pricking at her thoughts.

_Why is it that people around me are falling in love – people without a name – but I still can't make a simple_ friend?

A friend really would have been nice at a time like this.

"A _friend_ might just take one's mind off those goddamn peaches!" 37 swore, twisting her ankle around a gnarled tree root (actually, 37 managed to twist her ankles around a good many things). The seven other girls behind her smirked as they walked past, each inflating their egos at the sight of a girl unluckier than them.

And all of a sudden, 37 was quite alone, the others being swallowed by the mist, and the scent of peaches became stronger than ever.

"Hello." A quiet voice came out of the forest, accompanied by a person cloaked in black who was making an _awful_ lot of noise for someone who hadn't been there in the past twenty seconds…

"H-hello?" 37 replied uncertainly – this must be the peaches fellow then.

"And what is a girl doing alone here in the forest?" The man – the rather _good-looking_ man looked down at her. 37 glanced into the mist, down the muddy trail again – the last girl was just a faint shadow now.

"I-I have to g-get back to my friends…" 37 said, her voice wobbling at the word 'friends'. Dammit, she had always been a bad liar. The man had obviously picked it up, for he looked at her in askance.

"Okay… well, if you don't need help, I need to be on my way. Meeting a man called Orochimaru-sama." He nodded to her.

"Orochimaru-sama? _Orochimaru-sama?_ Are you serious?"

The stranger looked at her again. "Excuse me?"

"W-well… that m-man is… he is…"

"Eccentric? Why yes, I know." Itachi smirked. "But I'm not stopping there for long. Just curious – are you headed that way too? I can take you there."

_No! No! NO WAY ON THI_- "That… that'd be great." 37 heard herself say. Why was it so hard to say no to him?

The man forced out a smile. "It's not a problem. I'm going to pick up a girl from there… ah, what's her name…"

37 almost cried at that point. One girl – one lucky, lucky girl was going to get _away_. Probably Murasaki – she was born with everything. _Not like me… this man couldn't want someone fat and stupid and pathetic and weak…_

"Hm… oh, this girl doesn't have a name. Test Number 37, it says." He looked down at her, registering her open mouth and disbelieving eyes. "I take it you know her?"

"I-I I… I… _am_ her…"

"Really? Well, that's perfect! You can come along at once, of course – I have it all settled with Orochimaru – hm?"

"Excuse me… but wh-what is going _on_?" 37 started to back away, everything agonizingly slow, words and colours blurring – was she really getting away? Could it truly be – **THWACK**!

37 had, again, tripped over that very same tree root.

The black-cloaked man knelt down to her, taking a hold of her hand. "I'm sorry – this must all be very confusing. My name is Itachi, and I come from an organization called the Akatsuki. We… take in orphans. And you, my dear girl, have been chosen by our leader. So, do you want to stay in the camp with Orochimaru, or come with me? The choice is _entirely_ yours. Think about it."

37 thought about it. She thought about the scratchy hemp blankets and the endless bowl of okayu. She remembered the cold sting of the river and the icier hurt of Murasaki's words. But above all, she thought of the Akatsuki – of _dawn_.

You see, 37 would have never followed this man if she knew two things.

**1**. You do not follow strangers _anywhere_, especially strangers you've just found in a forest. Of course, 37 had spent most of her life trusting strangers – strangers had fed her, clothed her and given her a number.

**2.** You do _not_ follow Uchiha Itachi unless your _life_ depended on it. Sadly, 37's life _did_ depend on it.

Still, she felt the apprehension cutting at her as Itachi helped her up – his skin was unfeeling and cold.

"I'll come."

"Excellent." He smiled – but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Beckoning her on, he stepped back into the forest, disturbing neither a twig nor leaf. 37 followed dubiously – then stopped as a brilliant glimmer of light caught her gaze.

Stooping swiftly to pick up Test Number 33's fallen sun catcher, 37 walked off the track, not pausing to give her old life – the world of mist and greenery and suspended melancholy – a last look.

37's heart was filled with an unwavering hope.

**

* * *

**

Wow, that was a pretty long chapter. Did you like?

**We will meet – or rather, 37 will meet – Deidara in the next chapter. When we will meet the next **_**chapter**_**… urm, can't guarantee anything.**

**Reviews?**

**Xx Tutti**


	4. Chapter 4

**A big (enormous, gargantuan, the-size-of-Rock-Lee's-eyebrows) thank you to ErinEhmazing and Red for the reviews! **

* * *

"A-are we there yet?"

"No."

"O-okay." 37 sunk into silence again, mulling once more over the question that had been ricocheting around inside her brain for the past four days.

_What the hell should I do?_

37 had three options, really. One was to follow this newcomer, into a new life – or a trap. _But who would want to trap ME?_ The second was to refuse to move on until she knew exactly what was going on. And honestly, if 37 was braver, she _would_ have done that. And the third option? The third option was… to run away. To leave this Itachi.

But the promise of something _new_, something _better_ kept 37 walking.

It kept 37 silent as well.

"We are here."

"We are?" 37's limbs were cold and cramped with the grey morning light.

"That's what I just said." Itachi growled.

"Oh." 37 wondered what was up _his_ arse today (too bad she didn't know he was always like this). She stared up at a great, swarthy, looming expanse of…

"Rock? We're gonna have to climb th-this?" _My limbs are dying already!_

Itachi sighed. "No. This is your new home. Now, this might sound a bit strange, but here we have a …uh… _tradition_. Everyone who comes in gets a – a _surprise_. So can you close your eyes please?"

37, not knowing any better, smiled hugely, crossed her fingers for good luck and squeezed her eyes shut. She had never gotten a surprise before!

Itachi, tying a blindfold over her eyes, saw that smile and those fingers crossed. He felt one _fleeting_ moment of regret – the tiniest ever knife-stab – and then crossed it out of his conscience.

* * *

"We're here."

"Oh, that's nice."

Itachi looked around in mild annoyance, irritated by this sarcastic comment, when he noticed that she was still wearing the blindfold. Corners of his lips lifting very slightly, he sighed.

"You can take the blindfold off now."

"Oh, that's nice."

Itachi's tiny smile disappeared like a flash of lightning. Three people meandered into the room, trying very hard to look relaxed. Sasori's face was blank, as usual – he could _probably_ pass for as a antisocial teenager. Deidara's eyes – eye, sorry – was wide open with shock. Itachi couldn't blame him. How could this girl provide them with any advantage? And Kisame… Itachi shot him an open glare.

"Wow."

The blindfold lay dusty on the floor. 37's eyes had gone _huge_, as she tried to take in at everything at once. The rough, earthy walls that sloped upwards. The strips of yellow sunlight that flicked haphazard on the floor, flooding in from little holes in the ceiling and walls. The musty air. The whole sense of being… still. Tranquil. Silent.

And then 37's eyes landed on the three figures standing awkwardly in the doorway. At once, the sense of belonging to this strange, beautiful cavern shattered. There was one boy – an absolutely _gorgeous_ redhead who stared at her lazily. A taller man with blue-tinged skin. He had something massive strapped to his back, wrapped in white bandages. And the last one was a girl – long, blonde, flowing hair hanging over half her face, the assured casualness that emanated from her.

"H-hello…" 37 stuttered shyly. The redhead nodded and walked back through the doorway.

The blue man grinned wolfishly, revealing incredibly pointy teeth. "Don't worry about Sasori. He's always like that." And then he, too, walked away.

Itachi sniffed. "Deidara, show her to her room." He stalked through another little doorway, leaving just the girl – Deidara – and 37.

37 winced as the blonde girl eyed her critically. It was Murasaki all over again. "Come on, hn." She said, beckoning on 37 and slipping through the door. 37 followed nervously, stumbling through a network of tunnels that broke into circular little rooms that branched off even more.

"We don't use most of this place, un. Be careful you don't go in too deep. This place could cave in on you and we wouldn't even notice you were gone, un." Deidara ended this statement with a certain cruel glint in his (her?)** eye. 37 shivered, and moved a little closer to the blonde. Deidara grinned to himself, opening a small door to the right.

"You'll be staying here, un." _Honestly, how pathetic can you get?_

37 stooped and stepped into the room, her breath drawing up sharply.

"What is it?" Deidara said sharply. 37 gawped.

"It's… it's wonderful!" And really, it was. It was very small, perfectly rounded with a skylight cut into the roof. A pile of blankets were on the sanded floor, to serve as a bed. It was empty and forlorn – but cosy at the same time. 37 turned back to look at Deidara, and offered him a shy smile.

"You _like_ it?" Deidara asked, completely befuddled. _What the hell did Orochimaru do to this chick?_

"O-of course! It's so small and round and sunny…"

Deidara snorted. "Hmph. Well then, I'll leave you to unpack, un."

37 nodded, even though she didn't have much to unpack – just a few drab outfits and necessities. Even so, it wouldn't help much if she commented on the lack of possessions, no? Better say something that didn't sound moronic. "Eh… Deidara-sama…urm…"

"What is it, un?"

"How… why…" 37 blushed, not daring to continue.

"Spit it out already, yeah!"

There was that little glimmer of malice in his eyes again – but 37 was too busy staring at her toes to notice – and maybe that was why she didn't shut up at that moment and run away crying.

"Why do you have a… a boys' name?"

Deidara's eyes widened. "WHAT?"

"Oh… I'm sorry if I –" The rickety wooden door slammed shut with a bang.

"Oh….." 37 moaned, understanding dawning in her face as she slapped herself.

And now, 37 was stuck there, with an enemy that-was-not-a-girl already, a crushing sense of anticlimax, and at a loss at how the _hell_ to find her way to the common rooms.

Too bad she hadn't asked her original question - _"how do I get back from here?"_

* * *

**** You notice how I kept switching between 'him' and 'her'? When I said 'her', it was from 37's perspective. 'Him' was from the narrator's.**

**Argh, okay, shit chapter. All I can say. From the next chapter, I'll start writing properly. I promise. :S**

**Gahhhhh. Tutti.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Need a quick recap? Here's the story so far:**

**1. Orochimaru's done **_**something**_** to Test Number 37, which makes her senses screwed up. Now when she comes close to someone, she sees colours and smells scents, or even tastes something.**

**2. Of course, Pein can't keep his butt out of anything, so he orders Itachi to lure her into the Akatsuki, so they can learn her skill and then kill her off.**

**3. 37, too moronically blissful to see through Itachi's crap acting, goes to her demise after ditching Otagakure – thinking she's in an adoption centre.**

**4. She mistakes Deidara for a girl, which wouldn't have come as a surprise to him – if he knew what half the real world was thinking.**

**And, another note – this **_**is**_** a love story! Sorry if it doesn't seem like it! It'll happen... uh, eventually. **

* * *

37 stepped outside of her little room, into a circular area which branched off into three ways. _Where did we come from?_ Her mind worked frantically, and she dashed off to the centre archway. Immediately, she knew it wasn't the right one. There was an overpowering reddish tinge in her mind – one that certainly hadn't been there before. So it was either the left or right. 37 hurried back into the open space, breathing in deeply.

From the left, came the scent of pepper and grass and smoke. Her vision clouded with blue splashes of colour. The sensation was unfamiliar, 37 mused, turning her nose to the right. Immediately – that now-familiar scent of peaches. _Itachi-sama_. And pepper – again. _Wait! Hadn't the pepper come from the left?_ She breathed in again, this time a flurry of colours rushing at her. The warm yellow of rice. The bright purple of vegetables. The silver of meat. And… the unforgettable, dove-grey of tea leaves.

Now, if 37 was sure of anything, it was that good things came with tea. Doggedly slipping into the right tunnel, she nursed warm picture of things to _eat_.

See, the fact was that Deidara hadn't explained that the dorms were to the left, and the kitchens to the right. Oh, and that the red-tinted path in front of her ended in a shallow chasm. In truth, this whole lair was a web of interconnecting mazes and rooms, and apart from adding doors and stores, the Akatsuki hadn't done a whole lot to make this place home. But 37, the girl who had supposedly broken into food stores with nothing but a pebble and string, followed her nose happily.

Deidara's eyes widened as 37 stepped into the sunny common room. She was smiling blissfully – until she saw Deidara. His back was turned to her, facing the wall (it never crossed her mind as to why the _hell_ he was so interested in a chunk of rock) and suddenly, she felt a blush slap across her face.

"Eh… D-D-Deidara-sama… I-I-I-"

"What _now_?" His voice was very even – for some reason that scared her a lot more than it should have. Entirely forgetting what she was going to say, she babbled on mindlessly.

"Eh… where's the k-kitchen?"

"Through that door, un." He growled, rubbing a tiny ball of clay between his fingers. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, ears perking up as 37 clumsily shuffled through the sooty doorway.

* * *

Hours later, Deidara's stomach growled in protest as the most delicious scents wafted to his nose.

It is true that every person has a talent. Now, 37 didn't have much going for her – but she was right. Good things _did_ come with food. Especially when 37 _cooked_.

When she had stepped into the grimy kitchen, 37's senses had been working overtime. There were so many smells and colours packed into such a small space! But then, looking past the tints and shades, she saw the dingy, grimy surfaces. The damp stone benches carved roughly. And for possibly the first time in her life, 37 put her foot down.

_There is no WAY I am working in a dirty kitchen_.

And so, dredging up halfway-clean rags, scooping up the water that lay in the shallow sink, 37 proceeded to scrub everything as hard as her muscles allowed her. Of course, it was hard to clean _rock_, but under 37's calloused hands, the layers of grime and burnt-out food (someone had obviously tried to cook in here) disappeared.

And an hour later, the stone went back to a sandy brown colour. The skylights didn't have spiders laced across them. The rough, hollowed-out benches and shelves and sinks shook free the dirt. With a little cry of delight, 37 had found cooking implements.

And 37, her hair scraped back into a bun, her cheeks _extremely_ red, was staring at the contents of the larder in amazement.

There was rice – bags of that – along with sugar and salt and tea leaves. Boxes of spices crowded one shelf – turmeric, ginger, pepper, and dried herbs had been tied into messy bunches. There were bushels of slightly wilted-looking vegetables (who was this person stocking up on so much?), and bottles of pickles.

37 passed her hand tentatively over the ingredients, wondering what she could make. Something not too grand – she didn't want to mess it up. Something filling, simple and savoury.

Heaving up a bag of rice, 37 measured out a half-dozen cups. Peering into a jar, she smiled as she saw the familiar wrinkled umeboshi. Letting the sink fill up with clean water again, 37 hoped that Deidara was a forgiving person.

Okay, so Deidara _wasn't_ a very forgiving person. He could hold a grudge for the longest damn time – if there wasn't a plate of the most _appealing_ looking onigiri held in front of him.

"Eh… D-Deidara-sama… I'm really sorry about… about w-what happened… urm… yeah." 37 finished lamely, blushing fire-red and wishing that Deidara wasn't so much taller than her. She hated being short. She hated being fat. She hated being short and fat and slow _all at the same time_.

"Hm." Deidara eyed the onigiri. 37 handed him the plate – managing to trip over her own feet and head butting Deidara square in the chest. He caught her before she hit the floor, managing to balance the food in his left hand.

"Hm."

37's skin drained from beetroot-red to snow-white in an instant. Her eyes glazed over as she stood frozen, her hand still in his. "Clay?" She queried, looking hard into Deidara's face. "And… bombs?"

Deidara's body stiffened. "Excuse me?"

And then all of a sudden, her hand was whipped away, skin vermillion again. "S-sorry about b-b-before… I h-hope you enjoy the f-f-food…" She stuttered, already backing down the tunnel.

"Hey – wait, un!"

But 37 was already halfway to her room, shaking violently, trying very hard to ignore the scent of pepper that lingered in the air. Because the truth was that all these colours – all these tastes and scents weren't actually _there_. She was imagining them – but at the same time, it was too vivid to be a hallucination.

37 was trapped in a little bubble of her own, that made her sense some very strange things.

Like Deidara-sama made bombs. Out of clay sculptures.

* * *

**Well, there's really not much to say here.**  
**WAIT! Almost forgot...**

**Ach-hem. I, Tutti, do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it, nor the plot or artwork, because if I DID, Sasuke would be killed in the most horrendous way possible. And then the rest of Taka would follow.**

**All done :D**

**XX Tutti**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you AvaMcKenna, ethereal tears and Amehhh for the new reviews - and to Red and ErinEhmazing for being those 'not one review, but FOUR!' kind of reviewers every author dreams of XD **

**Okay, I realised that telling this story in 3rd person isn't working. We aren't getting much insight into 37's world, are we?**

**So from hereon, in our main character's perspective, the real story begins. (You know I'm lying, right? Gary the Snail could climb the Himalayas before anything happens in this story.)**

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ 37's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I woke up with the cool grey morning air slanting into my eyes. I curled up further into myself, tightening my limbs around my even more. It was early – there were still purplish shadows in my room.

_My room_. How strange the phrase was – I almost missed the feel of blankets being ripped off me and the chatter of the other girls. Almost. There was something indescribable happening to me – and there was no way in _hell_ I was going to regret my choice.

And then Deidara-sama's face flashed in my mind. My cheeks flushed red as I moaned, pressing my face down into the blankets.

I had been here for a day – and already, there was a guy who hated my guts. Just as I thought I could make a fresh start to my shiny new life – I was going to be slinking around the tunnels, avoiding his abnormally long blonde hair.

WHY MUST HIS HAIR BE SO LONG?

This thought-provoking question on my mind, I stretched my legs out, shaking out the sandy blankets (I'd honestly have to do something about the floor).

Hm.

What's for breakfast?

* * *

Retracing my steps to the common rooms (there was a particularly bright trail of orange for me to follow), I wondered who was up.

As I stepped into the room, the first thing I registered was the amount of woodchips lying on the table. The second was the two people in the room. The third thing was the argument that was going on.

Deidara-sama was grinning, but looking annoyed all the same, on his feet and staring down at the redhead from yesterday. Sasori, wasn't it? He couldn't have been more than 16, but the lazy indifference made him look a lot older. There was a small blade in his hand – he was carving a bit of wood with such dexterity, it was mesmerising.

Deidara-sama spoke heatedly. "Prove it, Sasori no Danna, yeah!"

"I see no need to." Sasori spoke – for the first time in front of me. His voice was quiet… a streak of sunlight flashed across my eyes, and I smelt the briny scent of the ocean.

"Only because you know I'm right, un!" Deidara-sama pointed out a finger victoriously. Sasori rolled his eyes, not bothering to look at the blonde.

"Deidara, how many times have we gone over this? Tell me, who is stronger between us?"

Deidara-sama was quiet for a minute or so. Then, in a very small voice: "You." I could practically see his ego deflating right in front of me. A tiny chuckle escaped my throat – one that immediately shut up as Sasori cast a quick gaze at me.

"Yes. Therefore, my art is stronger – and better – than yours."

"That doesn't prove anything, un!" Deidara grinned like a madman – he swung around, pointing towards me. "You, un! Who's art do you think is better?"

_What. The. Hell._

Whose art is better? What 'art'? "Uh… what?"

Sasori looked down to his carving – it was thin and long and intricately patterned. Deidara-sama, on the other hand, gave me an exasperated look, elaborating. "Sasori no Danna here makes puppets equipped with senbon and stuff. Me, on the other hand!" He paused for dramatic effect. "I, I create _art!_ True explosions – that fleeting moment of transience as it rips itself apart!"

_Bombs_. Yesterday came flooding back to me. _He makes clay bombs_.

"Y-you make clay b-bombs…"

Sasori's head snapped up. Deidara-sama, on the other hand smiled blissfully – it would have been a nice smile if he hadn't looked so crazy. "Yes! Now, whose art do you think is better?"

I stood there, like the idiot I was, mouth open and at a loss for words. "Eh… uh… I think… uh… dango?"

Dango. _Dan-freakin'-go_. Are you KIDDING me? That was lower than low, even for my horrendous social skills. My cheeks bright red, I pivoted, crashing through the doorway into the confines of the kitchen. There was silence behind me.

That silence stretched on and on as I dared to peer outside. The room was empty – apart from Sasori, who was sketching with agonizing slowness. He looked up – now _how_ did he do that so fast? – caught my eye, looking back down again. It was amazing how emotionless his face was.

"Deidara has left."

"Really? T-thanks!" I stepped out into the room, cautiously sticking my head through the doorway into the tunnels – tunnels that were considerably darker (I did NOT want to be killed by a psychotic blonde that was possibly hiding in the corridor).

It was quiet. Breathing a sigh of relief, I made my way back to my room – praying that Deidara hadn't decided to ambush me over there.

God. Why was I so scared of him? He looked harmless – apart from that crazed glint in his eye that came occasionally. He _was_ harmless – but the _bombs_. Those stupid _bombs_.

I really didn't know what happened yesterday. When I had touched him, the whole world had frozen around me. And then, quick as anything, these thoughts and colours and sounds came rushing at me. I _heard_ explosions that weren't there. I _smelt_ clay that wasn't there either. And with an assurance I couldn't place, I knew he made clay bombs.

It couldn't be true – but it was as if my base instincts were telling me to believe it. Was everyone like th—

Wait. I stopped. There was a tiny tremor under my feet, about a foot in front of me. Undetectable, unordinary – and then the _very same feelings_ from yesterday came rushing back.

And almost before it happened, I knew there was a bomb under me that was about to explode.

_BOOM!_

* * *

**Ah, it feels better to retell a story from the eyes of a character. Are you still confused about what Orochimaru did to 37? Or have you figured it all out? (You smart cookie!)**

**Thanks for reading – please review!**

**XX Tutti **

**P.S I have a tendency to drop little hints about what the whole plot/climax/backstory is. Found any yet? I love slipping out clues and red herrings :D**

**P.P.S. Are the colours/senses confusing you a little? Good. That's the point.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hope you're liking this story so far :D I know I'm not...**

**~~||~~||~~ 37's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

**RECAP:**

And almost before it happened, I knew there was a bomb under me that was about to explode.

_BOOM!_

**END RECAP STORY START:**

There was a great feathery, rushing sound echoing through my ears. Tiny splashes of light coloured my vision, and I realised I was lying on the floor, in the middle of the tunnel. My back ached in a billion different ways all at once, and something soft tickled my cheek.

Opening my eyes, the world was a swirling, foggy blur. A figure loomed over me, strangely familiar… Deidara-sama?

"Holy SHI—ow!" I swung myself up quickly, propping myself onto my elbows, my head colliding with Deidara-sama's in a frankly _sickening_ 'crack'. I moaned, lying down again as he rubbed his brow.

"Ow, watchya do that for, un?"

"S-sorry, ungh…" I couldn't decide what hurt more – my head, or my back.

"Don't worry, un. You alright?" My sight had cleared up a little, and I registered Deidara-sama looking at me questioningly.

"Y-yeah… there… was a b-bomb in the floor. A m-mine." I watched as a glimmer of amusement ran through his eyes. "Arsehole." I whispered. I watched as that glimmer of humour turned into flint-hard coldness.

"What did you say, un?"

Oh dear. I really shouldn't have said that. Opening my mouth to apologize, I once again saw his face light up in the ghost of a grin. And I decided to take my chances.

"What do you _e-expect_ me to say to a p-person who tried to blow me up?" I said with more confidence that I felt – confidence that turned to hurt at Deidara-sama's next words.

"It was just a joke, un. Take it easy. There wasn't enough firepower to hurt you much. By the way, what's for breakfast, yeah?" He finished with an easy, wicked grin. If I was Murasaki instead of 37, I would've been slapping him by now.

"It's your idea of a j-joke to try to kill people? That's r-really sick, Deidara-sama. I'm not making you breakfast." I clambered up, my limbs scraped in places where I had hit the wall, backing away. Having another person – Deidara-sama, in this case – so close overwhelmed me, and right now, all I could smell was pepper, and all I could see was bright green.

"Ah… girl? I'd really not step over th—"

_BOOM!_

I hated him. I honestly, truly hated him, as I lay there, facing the ceiling, my vision blurred with unshed tears as, for the second time in half an hour, I winced at the effects of another mine.

A hand was stretched towards me, but I ignored it, shakily getting to my feet. Just how many times could I survive bombs without killing myself? "Okay, that—"

"Leave me _alone!_"

I left him standing there, hand extended, an expression of slight shock. My steps were wobbly – incredibly so – and my eyes still misted with tears. I felt exhausted, drained. Deidara was my new Murasaki.

Bastard.

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"It is remarkable how, that within two days, you can jeopardize a mission without trying." Sasori walked out of the common room, carrying a sheaf of papers.

"I wasn't exactly planning on her crying and running away, un." I looked down the empty hallway, to avoid Danna's harsh gaze. It was intensely unnerving.

"Deidara, brat. She's weak and insecure. You _know_ it's our job to keep her happy. You know what to do." Sasori strode away, arms laden with tools and pens and paper. A page floated down to the ground.

"Danna, un, you dropped—" there was something drawn on the page, and I stooped down to reach it, but Sasori had already plucked it off the floor, and was halfway down the tunnels.

Weird.

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ 37's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"Can I come in, un?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Go away." Normally, I would have stuttered and mumbled – but right now, staring at the bruises and lacerations covering my limbs, I was severely pissed off.

I heard Deidara chuckle slightly – that jerk, blowing me up and then _laughing_ about it. I hated people like him – the ones who took everything lightly.

"I'm coming in, un." And he did, wearing an expression appropriate for a sickbed. I rolled my eyes. That would be _so_ much more convincing if he hadn't been laughing outside about twenty seconds ago, but I kept my mouth shut – Deidara still scared me, now that there wasn't a door seperating us.

"So…" It was oddly cramped in here, his head nearly brushing the roof. I stoically ignored him, bordering on something between pure hate and fear.

"Look, I'm sorry for what happened before, yeah. I didn't mean the second mine – that was just in case you went the other way—"

"Ah, so you meant to blow me up, either way." I said with more coolness than I felt.

There was a sort of vindictive pleasure in watching Deidara look dumbstruck.

"Look, girl, I—"

"I choose not to respond to insensitive idiots who cannot call me by my proper name." My insides churned as he said 'girl'. It was as bad as any of the other names I was called – debu, idiot, dirt – and I _hated it_. I hated not having a proper name.

"Fine, _Guinea Pig-_"

And without any warning, he strode out of my room, leaving behind a shocked emptiness.

A great crushing weariness stole over me. I was sick of this. Sick of always _hiding_. Dammit, I had a second chance! It was _me_ who was chosen, not Murasaki or Azami or 33. From now on, I would not let idiots walk all over me.

There was just something bothering me. It hurt.

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ 3****rd**** Person's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

Sasori was at his workstation, as Deidara paced angrily back and forth.

"Brat, you had to go and call her a guinea pig? A test subject? They don't know what we know what Orochimaru is doing to them."

"I know, I know! I just forgot, un!"

Sasori looked at Deidara in irritation. "Idiot. She knows more than you think. If you keep slipping up like that, this mission is a failure."

Deidara sighed and looked at Sasori. "What should I do then, un?"

Sasori's face was emotionless at his next words. "Befriend her. But be careful not to go in too deep."

Peering at the side of Sasori's head just then, Deidara thought – not for the first time – what the hell Sasori was doing before he joined the Akatsuki.

And comparing 37's mood swings, he also wondered if 37 had multiple personality disorder.

* * *

**Hm. Pretty shit chapter, in my opinion.**

** I actually have a Sasori fanfic I finished a while ago. It's round about 30 chapters long, and describes exactly what he was doing before joining the Akatsuki... heheh. Should I post it up?**

** Review-eth?**

** Tooteeeee**


	8. Chapter 8

~~||~~||~~ 37's PoV ~~||~~||~~

_He was here. Again._

"So, 37, what are you cooking?"

"Right now, I'm cleaning up my room." It was pretty obvious that he was uncomfortable here – that made me feel a little better. It also brought a twinge of guilt.

"Yeah, un, I can see that – but what are you cooking later?"

"Is that all you care about? _Food_?" I counted out the pile of blankets, snapping them up so the sand flicked into Deidara's face. He sputtered and coughed, rubbing his eyes to clear it away. Was I really doing the right thing?

"Why do you keep doing that, yeah?"

_Snap_. The third blanket. "Because I" – _snap_ – "am cleaning and you" – _snap_ – "happen to be in my" – _snap_ – "way." Not to mention, this was payback for _blowing me up. Twice._

Reaching down to pick up another thick blanket, I felt a hand upon my wrist. "Look, I apologize for everything I did yesterday, un. Can you please forgive me?"

"Yes, I can. Now _go away_." I purposefully shook out another blanket (god, they were incredibly heavy), watching out of the corner of my eye as he sighed. A slight pang went through me. _Why was I behaving like this? What had changed?_

Because I guess I knew that I wasn't trying to prove that I was brave.

"L-look, Deidara-sama… let's forget about the whole gender confusion, pyromania and general psychosis, o-okay?" I had backed down, again. I had turned into what I was before, again.

"Thanks, un." I felt a little flutter of happiness as his face cracked into a smile he evidently hadn't worn for a while. There was a moment's pause – and then I asked the question that had been bugging me for a while now.

"H-hey, Deidara-sama? Why is your hair so long?"

"Shut up, un."

"Oh… o-kay."

Let's face it. He still scared me.

* * *

"So… un, about the f—"

"The f-food?" I couldn't help smiling – and it felt weird, honestly, to see Deidara-sama grinning back at me rather sheepishly. "Let's see what we – oh."

Stepping into the kitchen, it was like I hadn't been there at all. Burnt food crusted every surface. The shallow basin was filled with an unidentifiable greyish liquid. _Something_ had spattered over the floor, and I_ really_ didn't want to touch it.

"Who keeps _doing_ this?" A note of desperation entered my voice as little vermillion shapes danced across my field of vision. This had happened many times before – when the okayu had burnt out. Someone had been trying to make okayu in here, and had left me a bunch of bright red squiggles fading from my vision and a giant mess.

"Who knows, un." Deidara-sama said, not particularly bothered. I turned around to face him.

"Deidara-sama," I began – but then something went wrong. His blue eyes met mine, and all my reserves of confidence depleted until I was feeling as stupid as ever. And all he did was look at me. "H-how many p-people are here?"

"Oh, it changes all the time, yeah. People drift in and out, so you'll sometimes see someone new, un."

"W-well who's t-trying to cook okayu?" I waved my arms at the mess in front of me. In all honesty, I wanted to slap someone, but I'm too much of a coward to do so.

"Beats me." His apathy was honestly annoying. Gone was the cheerfulness, and that flint-hard look appeared in his eyes.

"Wh-whats wrong?" The way Deidara-sama's emotions flitted scared me.

"Nothing, un." It was obvious that his mind was working furiously, and I wanted to ask _so_ bad – but I knew if I did that, our fragile, newly formed acquaintance would shatter.

"Okay." I hated how I always ended up saying okay. Always yes, of course, alright, whatever you want. My cheeks burning with humiliation and anger, I again scooped up the bucket of water, the rags, bent over the benches and proceeded to angrily scrub the grimy surfaces.

Deidara-sama, drawn out of his stupor, spoke again. "What are you doing, un?"

"What does it look like?" The food had crusted in a most annoying manner, and frankly, I was pissed. I had cleaned this place so _well_ yesterday… and now some idiot had ruined it again. And to top it all off, Deidara-sama was looking at me like I had sprouted a tail.

"Cleaning." _No duh. How stupid could you get? _"But why?"

"Because I refuse to cook in a dirty kitchen."

"Let me… _help_, then…yeah…"

And while I stood there, gawping, Deidara-sama picked up my discarded rags, bent down, and started where I left off. His long hair swung around his face, but he refused to tuck it behind his ear. I had the urge to do it for him.

"Wh-what are you d-doing?"

And he looked up in mild surprise. "I don't know, un." And staring into his face at that moment, I was sure that he had no idea why he was helping me.

Neither did I.

* * *

"Y-you really didn't n-need to help." I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, Deidara-sama opposite me, completely relaxed and slurping down a bowl of ramen like no tomorrow.

"No, it was okay – besides, this is _good_, un." He pointed to the food.

"There had t-to be an ul-ulterior motive." I smiled to him. But inside, my gut was clenching in on itself – talking to him – working with him in the past hour had felt easy.

He didn't respond, and I took his silence as assent.

"Hey, un?" He said after a while. I was poking at a bruise (courtesy bombs) on my pudgy knee, feeling stupid as hell. I always felt stupid around Deidara-sama. These past three days had proved it.

"Y-yeah, Deidara-sama?"

"Why do you stutter so much?" I looked up from my knee into his very blue eye. He was staring at me on something bordering on pity.

I didn't want pity.

"I don't stutter."

"Yes, you do, un."

"N-no!" Damn.

Deidara-sama leaned back with an air of satisfaction. My cheeks were red as I tried to calm myself. Breathing in deeply, I allowed colour to wash me out. The pale ice-blue of the rock all around me was completely in contrast with the viciously bright orange of the sand. And then there was the colour of… of Deidara-sama. It was a nice shade of spring green. Ugh. _What was up with me?_ The colour of _Deidara-sama_?

"Look, I'd r-rather not talk a-about it." I kept my eyes shut, trying with all my might to _not_ think of his colour. But it was futile. Every time Deidara-sama's name popped into my mind, I smelt pepper, saw green.

"What's wrong, un?" His voice was a _lot_ closer to me than before. My eyes flew open, to see Deidara about two feet away from me.

I wanted to tell him so bad about my screwed up senses. I wanted to tell _anyone_, really. But I didn't. I would be labelled a freak and an idiot – because some time ago, I learned that no one else ever felt the same things I did.

"Deidara-sama." I said slowly. The –sama part made the end of the name an ugly reddish-green.

"Yeah?"

"C-can I t-tell you something?"

"Sure, un."

My every brain cell was screaming _no_. But my heart wanted to let go and believe what he said.

I didn't know then that it was the biggest mistake I ever made.

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

Was it possible for someone to be so… trusting?

I couldn't even remember what trust felt like anymore. And here she was, believing every word I said. The plan was working perfectly.

There was something about this girl that made me feel immensely guilty.

Because she was right. This whole game had an ulterior motive.

* * *

**Hehe, the only reason I'm updating this story so quickly is because I already have most of it typed up XD Otherwise, I am the laziest person known to man, managing to pull of amazing acts of laziness without lifting a single finger :D**

**Thank you to all my reviewers! **

**Oh, and I posted up 'round about 3 chapters of my Sasofic 'Eyes' (what a damn original name, no?) It would be the SMEX if you checked it out! (XD Sorry if I just scared you then. I do that. A lot.)**

**Tooteeeeee!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Woo, again, thanks to everyone who reviewed! XD Can I have a couple more, pweeez?**

**~~||~~||~~ 37's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"W-when I w-was around s-six, I-I –"

A hand stopped me. "Stop stuttering and relax, un. I won't hurt you."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Part of me – the rational, sane part that wasn't doing much at the moment – asked why the _hell_ I was about to spill my deepest secret. The stupid part of me – the one that was overpowering – was egging me on.

I wanted to let go and finally _tell_ someone. Even though I didn't know that someone.

"O-okay," I breathed again. "Just don't think too badly of me, okay? When I was around six years old, I began to experience weird things going on with my senses. Like, when I smelt something, I saw colours and shapes, and tasted random flavours. It also worked the other way around. Okayu, for example – I see little red squiggly things."

He was silent for a minute. "Okay… are those colours and tastes actually there, un?" I dared not look at him, lest I see the disgust lacing his face. Instead, I focused on his hands – he was wearing thin brown fingerless gloves of leather.

"To me they are. It's kind of hard to describe – sometimes I see it in front of me, and sometimes I just sense it. But the taste and smell – it's so vivid."

"Is there anything else you want to tell me, yeah?" I chanced a peek up at him – his face was curious, almost hungry for the information. This quickly smoothed back into an expression of mild interest.

I froze.

"N-no, Deidara-sama. Thanks f-for listening." _Lie_. There was more to tell – how every different person had a different aura, a unique colour and scent. How I could feel if someone was there, and I could feel _who_ it was.

But I wouldn't tell him, because there was something dark, and sharp, and dangerous behind his eyes.

"Okay, un."

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"So?" Danna's face was expressionless (as usual) apart from the raised eyebrow.

"I… she… she didn't tell me, un." I tried to look as cool and unruffled as Sasori, forming a small clay bird in my palms. Wearing those gloves around that girl had made them itch.

"We don't have much time, Deidara, and you know it."

"Yeah, but why am _I_ the one on this mission? How did that happen?" I hated being around her. It was unnerving. Just a few minutes ago, I had thought she was the most stupid, trusting thing on the face of the earth. Now, she had zipped shut, and I dared not poke her too far. I had to take my time.

She didn't trust me _that_ much.

"You are on this mission, brat" – I had to tell myself that Sasori was older than fifteen at this point – "because Itachi and Kisame are out on a mission, Kakuzu and Hidan would probably murder her, Leader-sama has business, and _I_ dislike her." He finished this with a matter-of-fact air, turned around, and started working again.

I wanted to hurl the clay bird in my hands at his head.

And then I stopped. "Wait, Danna – is Konan free?"

**~~||~~||~~ 37's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"Hello. My name is Konan." A very tall woman nodded towards me – the flower in her hair bobbing dangerously.

"H-hello." I was suddenly feeling very small, even shorter than usual in front if this thin, elegant figure. Instead I focused on the bloom in her blue hair.

Deidara-sama was looking at me anxiously, probably wondering whether I was blind. He glanced between the two of us, restless. I smiled a little to myself, and felt my cheeks go red as he caught it.

All in all, it was a very strange silence. The woman – Konan-sama – was standing their patiently, waiting for me to continue a conversation that hadn't yet started. I looked at Deidara-sama nervously. He just grinned back, mouthing 'go _on_!'

"Uh… I… that's a b-beautiful flower, K-Konan-sama." I gestured helplessly towards her head. I could almost see Deidara-sama facepalming himself. I could almost feel _me_ facepalming myself.

But Konan-sama – wonder of wonders – just smiled. "Thank you, 37. Hm…" she considered me for a moment, as I felt stupid and ugly. "Would you like me to teach you how to make one?"

"M-make… one?" I peered closer. "Oh! Y-yes, please – I mean, s-sure… if you want…" Deidara-sama grinned – and I knew why.

Stupid jackass was laughing at my complete uncoolness.

I couldn't blame him though. He was tall, cool, unruffled – and then there was me. About a foot closer to the ground, pudgy, nervous and clumsy.

Konan smiled quietly again, turning on her heels and beckoning me to follow. I didn't really _need_ the directions though – this woman emanated an amaranthine aura, and the scent of leaves that trailed way away into the tunnel to the front of me.

Deidara gave me a wolfish grin.

Of all things, I blushed.

"So, did you have fun, yeah?"

"If you call getting seven paper cuts _fun_, then, yes, yes I did have fun." I focused on the stew simmering in front of me, trying not to look at Deidara. My body stiffened up as I felt him lean over my shoulder to get a better look at the food in front of me. My cheeks went fire-red, and I stopped _breathing_, for crying out loud – is _this_ how pathetic I was?

Suddenly, I was very aware of everything.

"So… what did you two talk about, un?"

"W-well, I guess… it depends on…" I shook my head, to clear my thoughts. Heck. Why was it that every time that Deidara-sama came within two feet of me, I felt dizzy? It was awkward. "It depends on whether you want to know, Deidara-sama."

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him pull back and make a face. I smiled sweetly at him, making the most out of this _very_ rare moment.

"What's wrong, Deidara-sama? Do you think the food looks bad?"

"Shut up, un."

"As you wish, then."

We sunk back into silence as I carefully doused the cooking fire and swept the benchtops. I loved this weird stone kitchen – it was mine. I had cleaned it. It was my territory now, the one place that people _couldn't_ laugh at me.

"So." I sighed, washing my hands. "Are you hungry? I've made beef stew!"

My insides twisted as I saw the expression on Deidara-sama's face.

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I watched Test Number 37 cook with slow, precise methodology. It was pretty amazing watching her cook, actually. Every now and then, she would just stop and _look_, or close her eyes and _smell_ the food, then rush off like a lunatic to gather some strange ingredient and dump it into whatever she was cooking. What was even more amazing, were the scents drifting around the kitchen – no one in the Akatsuki could cook to save their lives.

I felt that tremor of uneasiness, of guilt, wrack through me as I saw her eyes light up whenever she talked about food. It was something special to her – I had no idea _what_ – and whenever I saw it, something fluttered in my stomach.

This girl was something else in this crusty little kitchen – more easy. More alive.

Suddenly, my hands were itching like mad under the gloves. I tugged at them anxiously – no, there was _no_ way I was taking them off in front of 37!

"So." Test Number 37 shook her hands dry. "Are you hungry? I've made beef stew!" – Again! That way her eyes shone!

I had never felt so queasy in my life.

Before, I lived for the thrill of the hunt – the moment as everything shattered.

Now, this girl was making me feel _guilt_.

* * *

**Okay, you might be losing track. Here's everyone's 'aura' so far. Colour and unique scent.**

**Itachi – mix of dark colours, peaches**

**Deidara – spring green, pepper**

**Sasori – bright orange, brine/sea salt**

**Konan – amaranthine, leaves**

** I know you're getting confused, but I PROMISE you'll understand... eventually. Waaayyy eventually :D**

**Tutti!**


	10. Chapter 10

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV~~||~~||~~**

The girl was _weird_. I always seemed to catch her in a strange pose – whether it was sticking her nose in until it almost touched whatever she was cooking, or freezing at random moments in the tunnels to look at the dust-mites in the sunlight.

Right now, Test Number 37 was standing on top of an old crate, under the skylight, pushing herself through up to her waist.

"What are you _doing_, un?" I forced calm, but really, my breath had caught at the thought that she had _almost escaped_.

Sasori no Danna would've killed me.

"W-what? Oh! Deidara-sama – agh! Um… I'm… I'm stuck!" And she was. When I had called out to her, Test Number 37 had managed to twist around and wedge herself in diagonally. Now, her arms were pinned to her sides, and her feet barely touched the crate beneath her. A very red face peered at me in sheepish defensiveness.

I couldn't help it. I started laughing.

"P-please, D-Deidara-sama… don't… laugh at me." Her voice was just a whisper – but it was enough to make me feel guilty again.

I cleared my throat, not meeting her eyes. "Want some help, un?"

"No thank you. I'll get down myself." Her voice was cold, calm – little Test Number 37 was _angry_ at me! I grinned – why did I find her anger so… _charming_?

"No, you need some help, un. Here, stop wriggling." I reached out for her ankles, grasping them firmly and pulling.

"What are you do—hey! Wait! Ahhh!" And then she was free! We both crashed to the ground in an ear-shattering display of yells.

A minute of heavy breathing later, Test Number 37 spoke. And… um… could you let go of my leg, please? O-only if it's not too much trouble?" Her face was very pink, and she was struggling not to grin. This only made _me_ smile wider – it was involuntary, and I wondered if I could stop. I wondered whether I _wanted_ to stop.

I couldn't remember the last time I had smiled like this.

My cheeks tingling, I whipped my hand away, standing up and shaking the sand from my cloak. Test Number 37 was sitting cross-legged on the floor, trying to act like I hadn't found her stuck in a hole in the ceiling.

"You know, you look _really_ short from this angle, un. A midget."

"Your eloquence is amazing, Deidara-sama." She smiled quietly. I noticed for the first time that her teeth were very straight and white, and—

"So I've been told, un. Anyway, why _were_ you trying to force yourself through such a small hole? Lost the door, yeah?" Her face went red again – but at that moment, I saw that deep shame and hurt behind her eyes. My gut twisted on itself again.

"N-no… I wasn't trying to get out." (Well that calmed me down a _lot_) "And I've never gotten stuck before… I just… no, it's stupid."

"You can tell me, un." There was something in her expression that made me wonder whether I _wanted_ to know.

"I wanted to see the sunset!" She went red again, and I had to smile. _The sunset. She was worried about the sunset_.

"That's not stupid, un. At least it's not something completely moronic, like trying to get a tan." I frankly had _no idea_ why I said that – words spilt out of my mouth – and suddenly, I felt immensely brainless as I saw the disbelief on her face.

"Tans are… stupid?" There was honest surprise on her features – and at that moment, I wondered what the hell she was thinking about.

"Well, most of the time, you end up burnt and red and cancerous. So, yes, tans are stupid, un." I continued to blabber.

Thank _god_ Sasori no Danna wasn't here.

Test Number 37's expression really _was_ strange. Like she was trying to wrap her head around something life-changing and indescribable. Her mouth had fallen open in wonder, and her brow was creased.

Staring at my hands, I wondered how long I could keep the gloves on without going crazy. Not much longer, apparently. "Hey, I've got to go, okay? Bye, un." Turning around as fast as I could – ripping off the gloves as I did so – I walked to the door.

"W-wait, Deidara-sama!" I turned back. She was looking sheepish again, red spots of colour lighting up her cheeks.

"Yeah, un?"

"Well… I don't want to ask Konan-san, and I can't find Itachi-sama, and Sasori… well, you know" (I did know) "so… I was wondering… could I…" she stopped – and at that moment, I felt immensely sorry for her. She was scared of all of us, and had no idea why.

"It's okay, un. You don't have to be so nervous around me. I won't hurt you, promise." And I put on a smile that I hoped looked genuine.

She smiled falteringly (_she still doesn't trust me_, I noted) and began again. "I was wondering… could I only go outside? For a little while!"

Something twisted in my gut – worse than guilt, even. In that second, I felt complete and utter shame. My smile disappeared.

"N-no, it's okay!" She looked desperate, obviously misreading my expression as one of anger. "I'm sorry! I won't ask again! Promise!"

And without thinking, without speaking, I took her hand.

It was only as we stepped onto the cold winter grass that I registered her look of shock, and my big mistake.

* * *

**Can you guess what Deidara's mistake is? Message me with your thoughts!**

**Disclamerification!: I don't own Naru-oh, _screw this_. The only thing I own here is my overuse of the word 'guilty'.**

**XX Tutti**


	11. Chapter 11

**Woot :D

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**

**~~||~~||~~ 37's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

My left palm – the one that Deidara-sama had grabbed – was red and _hurting_ like nothing before. It was like something… had _bit_ me.

No, that couldn't be right.

Deidara-sama was staring up at the sky, completely calm – bored, almost, with his hands shoved deeps into his pockets, back slouched, eyes sleepy. The sun cast a gauzy golden glow upon him, making him look like something unreal. I paused, for a moment, before my hand throbbed impatiently again.

This time, though, I noticed something different. There were _teeth marks_ in my palm.

What. The. Hell.

"Deidara-sama? Are there any… wild animals in this area?" But that couldn't work, unless those wild animals were invisible, flesh-eating, and had weird jaws.

"Probably, yeah." But there was something altogether too casual about his stance – too casual when compared to how he had dragged me out onto here a moment before. He was hiding something.

"Okay… hey, another thing, Deidara-sama." He looked up, long, blonde hair fluttering slightly to nearly cover both eyes. _Bastard. He IS hiding something, and he's doing it on purpose._

"Show me your hands, please." I felt stupid asking this – mentally retarded, in fact. He looked surprised, and for a moment, I was certain I had lost it. But no – the proof was right there, painful in my skin.

"What? Why, un?"

"Just show them." My tone was firm for someone nearing a mental breakdown.

"Uh… okay, un." He drew his hands out of his pockets – god, there really _was_ something wrong with me! Plain, brown, fingerless gloves assured the fact that I was completely screwed up.

There was no way he could have worn a pair of gloves in about nine seconds – all without me noticing. So there being a set of teeth in his hands was out of the question.

_Thank god_.

Wait.

"Do you have a habit of wearing your gloves inside-out?"

There was no answer, and suddenly, Deidara-sama looked distinctly nervous. Deidara-sama – cool, relaxed, confident – was _uncomfortable_. Wow.

"Just show them, please." I gestured towards his palms, suddenly sick of the awkward silence. Deidara-sama sighed, and pulled off the gloves, as I felt my stomach twist with anticipation. "Don't think… too badly of me, okay?" He echoed my words, extending his hands towards me.

Oh, my.

Two perfect, identical _mouths_ stared at me, from Deidara-sama's hands. What's more, they were _grinning_ – smiling that same wolfish smile of Deidara-sama's, and I felt my jaws slacken with shock.

"W-wow…"

"You don't really think that, un." He mumbled, tucking his hands back into his pockets. "You're stuttering again."

I felt myself flush – he was right. As usual. "Shut your mouth."

He looked towards the ground. "Which one?" I was suddenly aware of how very defeated-looking Deidara-sama looked, and on an instinct – some stupid, wild instinct – I grabbed his wrist, and drew out his hand again. The mouth was drooping downwards now, in a comic, albeit weird, mockery of Deidara-sama's expression.

"All three of them. Or do you have more, say, on your feet maybe?" I smiled at him, and he grinned back – and I blushed. Again.

"Nope, un." I had a feeling that he was lying, though.

"Well, that's good. Imagine three Deidara-sama's talking all at once. Pure horror." I watched his mouth (the one on his face) drop open in a round 'O' or annoyance, and felt a chuckle escape my throat. It was surprisingly fun to tease Deidara-sama. Honestly, I was struggling to come to grips with the fact there were mouths – lips and teeth and tongues – embedded in his hands. Suddenly, my own abnormalities faded in comparison. His extra body parts were just so… _weird_.

And then I knew that I could never call Deidara-sama weird to his face. It would hurt him too much – he was too edgy and sensitive about this topic. Suddenly, it made Deidara-sama a lot more human.

"There's not a voice box shoved at the back of my wrist, idiot. They don't talk, un."

"Well, I'm sorry. Do you… feed them?" I had the strange urge to poke his hands with a stick. Or a noodle.

"Girl, they're just mouths, not the openings to digestive systems squeezed in my arms, yeah." But he was smiling openly know, butting me playfully on the shoulder, and something quite like butterflies flitted in my stomach.

"Fine, fine! I've just never met a person with extra orifices before!"

"Yeah, well, I've never seen someone nearly kiss a piece of seaweed before either. We're pretty much even."

I went red. That was _such_ an exaggeration, it wasn't even funny.

"It's true, un."

So he could read my mind now, could he?

**~~||~~||~~ 3****rd**** Person ~~||~~||~~**

You see, as 37 and Deidara sat on that high, grassy plateau, they forgot that they were actually there to see the sunset – and it was now night, with stars glinting from a velvet sky.

"Hey, Deidara-sama? Can a short person 'talk down' to a taller person?"

"I don't know, un. It depends on how scary the shorter person is. Anyway, what kind of question is that?"

"Shut ut, the stars make me feel delirious. Hey, talking about the stars, do you see any constellations?"

"No, not yet." Deidara leant back, lazily watching 37 point at various stars. He didn't pay much attention to the stars, to say the least.

"I mean, I've never understood them. They're just a bunch of dots joined up any way you please. Look! I just made a mushroom constellation!"

"That is the worst mushroom I've ever seen, then." And it was true – 37's nose didn't look anything like a mushroom, to Deidara, anyway.

"Is it? Let me see it from your angle." She flopped down, resting her head against a particularly soft tuft of grass, twisting her head to better inspect her new-found heavenly body. "Oh, well, it still looks like a mushroom to me. Maybe you're looking at it wrong, Deidara-sama. Or you need a pair of—oh."

Her breath caught, and a pink blush unfurled it's petals across her cheeks. Deidara was smiling quietly at her, his eyes betraying his amusement even in the darkness. Suddenly, 37 was aware of how close they were – not two feet apart.

"Hey, un?"

"Y-yeah?"

"What's your name?"

The blush faded from her cheeks, and she sat up, all hazy, contented happiness gone. "I don't have a name, Deidara-sama. You know that."

"Well, can I give you one, un?"

"Y-yeah." Her breath shallowed, anticipation lighting up her face. This was it. Her name – her identity.

"Well, how about Kuni?"

"K-K-Kuni?" She blushed bright red. "I- I like it. Thanks, Deidara-sama!" And without hesitating, without waiting a heartbeat, 37 – no, Kuni – flung her arms around Deidara, enveloping him in a hug. He hugged back, without hesitating either, even though an image of Sasori's angry face popped into his mind.

Kuni. _'Meaning unknown'_. The reason that name suited her so well, was that Deidara didn't know what he felt whenever he looked at her.

* * *

**Haha, congratulations to everyone who guessed correctly as to what Deidara's 'mistake' was!**

**Do you like 37's new name? **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter – please review :( I keep getting messages from telling me people have favourited this story - could I maybe-possibly squeeze a couple words out of you guys XD?**

**XX Tutti**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, as always, and a special/creepy 'OMFG I LOVE YOU' to Kitsuneforlife and FrankenWheezy (obligatory for all new people XD)**

**OH! A warning! EVERYONE in this chapter is like... SUPER OOC. Run away while you can XD

* * *

**

**~~||~~||~~ 3****rd**** Person ~~||~~||~~**

"Idiot. Stupid. _Baka_." Deidara leaned uncomfortably against the door, not bothering to tell Sasori that all three words meant the same thing. Sasori's wooden face masked the anger emanating from him, as Deidara's ears reddened.

"It's not a big deal, un." He protested weakly, the only reward being a particularly scathing glare from Sasori.

"Deidara. Must I spell it out for you?" He obviously didn't want an answer. "Test Number 37 is going to be _disposed of_. You _cannot_ grow attached to her."

"Her name is Kuni, yeah."

"My point exactly, brat. We're leaving."

* * *

"Y-you're leaving." It wasn't a question, but rather a deadpan, gloomy statement.

"Yeah, I've got to go, un." Deidara's reply was accompanied with a non-committal shrug as he hefted his packs up. 37 – sorry, _Kuni_ – felt a vaguely panicky feeling bubble up inside her chest, and fought it down. "Y-you're d-ditching me, aren't you?" She _knew_ how stupid that sounded, but really, at this point, she was feeling a whole lot worse than she ought to.

Deidara looked up in mild surprise. "Oh, no, idiot! Don't be like that! I'm coming back in two weeks, I promise, un." He didn't know why he had to _promise_ her anything, really – the words just popped out. "And stop _stuttering_, Kuni. Count up to fourteen – anyway, I'd _have_ to be back – you'd have used up all the food by then, un!" He grinned good-naturedly, but Kuni felt a bitter self-loathing rise up inside her at the mention of food. She did eat a lot. Too much – why was it that the thing she loved most in life was the thing that made her so ugly? A sickening, huge feeling welled up and left a sour taste in her mouth and tears pricking the backs of her eyes. It was all her fault that she was fat.

Fat, fat, fat, _ugly_.

"Oh – okay." Her cheeks went red (honestly, they did that far too often these days). "Well, bye then, Deidara-sama. Good luck, and stay safe, please." She didn't know why she said those last few words, as she quickly walked away, disappearing in the shadow of the tunnels.

"Bye, Kuni." Deidara said, mostly to himself. _Good luck, and stay safe, please_. Did all girls have this innate ability to bring out your conscience? Or just weird, naïve ones like Kuni?

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

Five bowls of mixed rice – enough for Konan-san, Itachi-sama, Sasori, and that strange blue man I had only seen once before – and myself. I really _did_ need to find out how many people were here. I sighed, picking up the tray of food, hoping they would like it.

Konan-san first.

I retraced my steps from before, until I stopped in front of her room. Balancing the tray on one arm, I knocked on the door.

"Oh, hello, Kuni." She smiled that quiet smile of hers, as I wondered how she knew my name. _Kuni_. The very thought of it sent delighted shivers down my spine, and I felt courage warming me up from the inside out.

"I've brought you some food." I offered her a bowl, which she took with another smile.

"Thank you – it smells wonderful. Would you like to come in?" I contemplated this for a moment – should I try some more origami?

Hell _no_.

"No thank you – I have to give these to everyone. Bye, Konan-san."

There was something altogether too knowing in her grin, as I stared at my paper cuts ruefully.

As I meandered my way over to Sasori's room – it was closest – I wondered exactly what is _was_ that made him so… creepy. So unnatural. I had never seen a teenage boy with a face so utterly cold and devoid of emotion. It was disturbing.

_Colours_.

Colours greeted me as I knocked on his door. At least twenty different hues blossomed in my mind's eye – like there were twenty different living things behind his door, maybe animals, and humans even. But there was no bright orange behind that door – I realised, even as I knocked on the door, that Sasori was gone.

Thank _god_.

Okay. Two down, two to go. Who next? Ah – I 'smelt' peaches. Itachi was close.

You know, there was something strange about Itachi. He had smiled a lot when we first met… but underneath that, I sensed that he wasn't at all used to smiling. Rather the opposite, actually – there was death hanging around him. _Death_. And yet… he didn't scare me. Out of all the people, this menacing man clothed entirely in black didn't scare me.

Even so, I was buzzing with nerves as he opened the door.

"Yes? Kuni?" Again – how did everybody find out my name so fast?

"I – ah, m-made you some lunch, I-Itachi-sama." I hesitantly held out a bowl. He looked at it blankly for a minute, like his thoughts had wandered or he was completely weirded out. I started to draw my hand back in, cheeks bright red, but he spoke again.

"Thank you, Kuni."

"I-I-It's n-no problem. I hope y-you like it." Oh god. _Please_pleasepleaseplease like it.

He reached for the door as I moved out of the doorway – and then something made me stop. And stare. And feel complete, utter shock.

"What is it?"

"Oh – n-nothing! Sorry!"

* * *

Okay. Konan-san and Itachi-sama and Sasori – done. I had the strange urge to go back and check who was in Sasori's room, but I didn't, squashing down that little bit of dangerous rebellion until it was tinier than Murasaki's waist. I didn't like to think of Sasori's reaction if he found me snooping around in his room. Besides, I had more… pressing matters to think about. Like finding a very large, very blue man who looked as if he could eat me.

I worked my fingers against my temples, trying to remember his aura, or to find a new one lurking around. This was the way that I always worked – but this time, it looked like I would have to look for people the old-fashioned way.

But wait – what was that, very faint, down to the south-east tunnels? I moved that way, resting the tray against my hip, my heart sinking as I realised there was more than one person there.

Oh, god, no. There were _three_ of them – two of them obnoxiously tall, the other vaguely arrogant. They stopped as one about three feet away from me, and I felt a tremor run down my spine – it was that shorter, blond one that scared me the most. He smelt of blood.

"Hello, Kuni. I don't think I introduced myself the other day. My name is Kisame." The enormous blue man said quietly, impeccably polite, and I bobbed my head in greeting, scared shitless and morbidly curious about his skin (it was blue! BLUE!)

"H-H-Hello… Kisame-sama." _Hi, I've just met you and all, but here's some rice!_

"Is that shit for me?" The blond man suddenly interrupted, pointing at my tray. Kisame-sama, and the other man who hadn't spoken yet looked at the blonde in annoyance, but honestly, I was happy someone had brought up the topic of food. My hands were starting to hurt.

"Y-yes, they are –"

"Then why the heck are there only three bowls?"

"Because I didn't know that a loudmouthed arsehole like you hadn't been killed yet." I muttered to myself, suddenly pissed off at this man – who could only be a few years older than me, at the most. I didn't know what had changed, these last few days, but I was starting to find something new within myself. Guts.

The blonde apparently hadn't heard – but the quiet man obviously had, because he looked up and smiled fleetingly at me. I realised with a shock that his pupils were green, and his sclera completely red. "I'm Kakuzu."

"And I'm Hidan!" The blonde shouted, inflating with self-importance. Great. This one obviously wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer.

"Kisame-sama, Kakuzu-sama and Hidan…-sama." I nodded to each of them, committing their names and auras to memory. Kisame-sama's was silver, and smelt like glue. Kakuzu-sama's brown and potatoes. Hidan's – blood. The colour and smell.

"Anyway, onto the freakin' food! I'm starving here!" Hidan grabbed a bowl off me. I handed the next bowl to Kisame-sama.

There was one bowl left. I looked down at my stomach – it was round and ugly and fleshy. I was fat. I was _ugly_.

All these thoughts flitted through my mind in less than a second.

In less than a second's hesitation, I gave the last bowl to Kakuzu-sama.

I was going to be thin, whatever it took.

I was going to be beautiful, whatever it took.

* * *

**Aah, you're probably getting REALLY pissed off at all the colours and aura and whatever. Sorry, darlings XD Please do review though, even if its just biting my head off! **

**P.S What do you think Kuni saw in Itachi's room? And no, contrary to popular belief, it's not a picture of Sasuke XD (Over thirteen people guessed that last time XD)**

**XX Tutti**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter... what is it, 13? I'm losing track already XD Naw, but a bouquet of roses to ALL of my reviewers, and an extra glomp for lilvici, disneytiger and anonymous review Weirdo Writer! WOO!**

**More reviewers will also be attacked in a similar fashion :D Anyone up for the job?**

**Oh, chapter dedicated to ErinEhmazing (and her mum) for being hilarious XD**

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~

* * *

**

One purple. Three whites, all slightly different shades and tints. Two yellows – one soft one and one bright. One, a deep, solid black. And another, green-gold. There were more of them, but I squeezed the colours out of my mind, out of my conscience, as I backed away.

I was _not_ going into Sasori's room. Not if my life depended on it.

Besides, I had more important things to do. Deidara-sama was due back today.

Again, that little flutter of happiness – and of anxiety – made itself known in my chest. I hurried back to the kitchen, checking on the water bubbling away, fighting down a wave of dizziness.

Gah – these stupid dizzy spells! They came and went, and I forced a glass of water down my throat, almost used to the cramping as it hit my empty stomach. It was working so far – I had fooled my stomach into believing it was full. The fat had started to melt off my body – but slowly, too slowly. I wasn't thin enough – but god, I was _so_ hungry.

_No. Food makes you fat. Huge. Disgusting. Ugly._

Murasaki's voice – I don't know why it was Murasaki's voice that had formulated in my head – rang out again, and I stepped out of the kitchen to gain my wits about me. She was right. She was always right. I couldn't eat one bit – just the thought of those white globules of fat sticking to my insides made me nearly retch. I breathed deeply, my head pounding (as it had been for the past ten days) as I dropped the eggs Konan-san had brought into the water.

Twelve days ago, my stomach started grumbling, and I nearly ate. Nearly. Ten days ago, my head felt light and heavy all at the same time. Eight days ago, I could barely get out of bed – but I forced myself to. Six days ago – I was so happy! My work was paying off – could wrap my fingers around my wrist with utmost ease. But it wasn't enough.

And now? I was tired. Just so tired.

"Kuni! That smells good! Saved some for me, un?" Another wave of giddiness washed over me as I turned around – but it wasn't much. Not as bad as usual, anyway.

"Deidara-sama! Welcome back," I smiled hugely at him, feeling tiny butterflies making their way around my stomach. This was new to me – was it possible to feel so breathless, so happy that someone was back? I guess that made Deidara-sama a friend of mine – a true friend. But then my smile faltered.

Deidara-sama was frowning. Damn. Had the eggs overcooked?

"W-what's wrong?" Now his face was narrowed, angry, hard – crap, what happened?

"Kuni…" he proceeded to grab my wrist – my smaller, thinner wrist – too tightly, drawing me up to him, studying me with careful eyes. I was just too tired – too stupidly slow – and stood there, silent, feeling the heat rush up to my cheeks, feeling my heart beat frantically fast.

"Kuni… how many times have you eaten in the past two weeks, un?"

"How do you expect me to remember that?" I looked confusedly at him, but inside, a shudder of fear clicked in my chest. He was suspicious.

"You know _damn_ well you haven't eaten at all, Kuni! What are you playing at, un?"

"What? N-n-nothing!" I said wildly – but I saw his lips narrow in victory, and knew I had blown it. I always stuttered when I lied.

"You're not fooling anyone but yourself here, Kuni, un. I doubt you've eaten more than twice."

"And? Since when did you keep track of what I ate, Deidara-sama?" I was even more worried now – stupid thoughts, irrational ones, floated through my head. What if he _did_ have a way to know what I ate?

"I don't need to keep track of anything to see that you're starving yourself! Why, Kuni, un?"

"Sure, sure, you keep on believing that." I yanked my wrist away from him, stepping back, feeling confused and hurt. Why couldn't Deidara-sama see that I wanted to be beautiful?_ Why was he so against me becoming thinner_?

Suddenly, there were two figures standing in front of me – the world spun in haphazard circles. I wanted to vomit, and I stumbled, clutching the bench for support. Reaching for a glass of water, I spoke. "I'm _fine_, Deidara-sama" – God, it was hard to tell which was the real one – "I'm eating and everything. Don't worry."

"Oh yeah?" His face was twisted in a mask of anger – and anxiety. Why was he looking so worried? I knew what I was doing, thank you very much. "Eat this, then." He handed me a freshly made bakudan onigiri, gaze piercing and intense.

I looked down at the food in my palm. The smell of it made my stomach growl so loudly I felt myself go pink – and at the same time, the nausea intensified. Deidara-sama looked at me victoriously. "You _are_ hungry, then, aren't you? Go on, un."

I hated it. I hated Deidara-sama. But I lifted the bakudan to my mouth anyway, eating as fast as I could. "There." I smirked, brushing the last crumbs from my fingers, feeling queasy but determined not to show it. "Happy now?"

"I – I suppose so, un." He looked slightly unsure. "You just look…sick. That's all."

I felt sick too.

"Thank you, Deidara-sama. Now, get out of my kitchen." I pushed a bewildered looking blonde out of the room with my last bit of strength, locking the door shut.

With one great, shuddering heave, I managed to yank a bucket towards me as I vomited.

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"You know what? I've never actually seen Sasori eat. Ever. What's up with that?" We were in Kuni's room again. She was (once again) sliding herself through the skylight, catching the pinkish-gold sunset. The memory of that night up outside brought a little shiver to my mind – it brought a tiny smile to my face.

"Sasori's a believer in fasting and meditation. He eats at random times, so don't hold your breath, un."

"Okay…" She looked sceptical – I didn't blame her – but passed over it. "Anyway, what _are_ you doing?" She looked down at me, her cheeks tinted pink from the sunset.

"Art, un." I concentrated on the lump of clay in my palms, trying as hard as possible to get the image of her face out of my mind. There was something else niggling at my mind too – I couldn't get rid of the feeling that there was something wrong with Kuni.

"You're doing a great job of it." She interrupted my train of thought, her voice mimicking Sasori no Danna's perfectly, and I had to grin to myself. If Danna ever found out…

"Was that _sarcasm_ I detect, un?" I tweaked one end of the clay ball, forming a teardrop shape.

"Of _course_ not, Deidara-sama!" She laughed. "What are you making, anyway?"

"Hm. I have no idea, yeah." She smiled again, casting one last look at the sunset and then making her way down, sitting on the pile of blankets like a bird in a nest. "Then what's the point of making it?"

"What do you mean, un?"

She reached out as if to touch the clay, but drew back – not before her fingers brushed mine, though. _She was so cold_. "I m-mean… I…" she struggled to regain her train of thought. "I… oh, forget it." She moved closer to the patch of sun under the skylight.

"Ah." Her eyes were hazy and unfocused. "Are you _sure_ you're alright, Kuni, yeah?"

"I'm FINE! Deidara-sama, stop _bugging_ me about it!" Her cheeks were ashen, too pale – and she had the look of someone just about ready to faint.

"No, you're _not_, un. And we both know it."

"D-Deidara-sama – I—"

"OI! DEIDARA! WHERE THE FREAKIN' HELL ARE YOU?"

Shit. Hidan.

"Is that H-Hidan?" She scrunched up her nose in distaste, burrowing under the blankets. I didn't miss the light of relief in her eyes. She was glad the interruption had come – she wanted me to forget. And at that moment, I knew she was ill.

"You've met, un?" This was unexpected. It would be so much easier to keep her away from the others, so much quicker and less complicated to finish the mission. "Who else have you met?"

"Um… Konan-san, Itachi-sama, Sasori, and Kakuzu-sama. Oh! Kisame-sama too… he's very nice." She blushed at this last statement, and I felt a churning in my gut. How the hell could Kuni find a seven-foot giant shark _nice_?

At least she hadn't met _Zetsu_ yet.

"Well, forget Hi–"

"I really think you should go to Hidan, Deidara-sama! He's not very patient, I've n-noticed."

"DEIDARA! GET YOUR SCRAWNY BLONDE ARSE OUT HERE!"

Kuni grinned slightly, drawing even deeper under the blankets. "Scrawny b-blonde arse?" She chuckled as I scowled – but in truth, I didn't mind so much. Kuni had a beautiful smi—

"SHUT UP HIDAN! I'M COMING, I'M COMING, UN! Narcissistic little twit, yeah." I muttered, just to see Kuni laugh again.

"I HEARD THAT!"

"NO YOU DIDN'T, UN!"

* * *

**YAY FOR FILLERS! **

**Nothing more to say here :D **

**On another note, am I the only one who wants to run around screaming 'waaabefet'?**

**Tutti :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**An over-sized thank you to everyone awesome enough to review! This chapter's depressing and irritating, so I don't mind any negative reviews XD**

**Oh, also to everyone saying 'OMFG KUNI'S GOING TO BECOME THINNER!'...do you really think I'd make it that easy for her XD?**

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**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

Drip, drip, drip – the relentless rain pooled under the skylight, turning the sand near it grey and watery. I was huddled under my favourite blanket – a green one with yellow stripes – and sat there, utterly transfixed, staring at the dreary patch of sky visible. I had always loved the rain – loved the total peace and silence it brought and the transluecent quality it gave the air. I would get lost in the endless patter on the roof, like a hundred hands clapping.

But right now, it was all _wrong_. All of it, because I felt trapped in this little room, hearing the rain but knowing there was no way I could feel it. I would have slipped halfway through the skylight, but I was too cold, too weak – too _fat_.

So I just stared, looking, looking at the raindrops shattering on the ground.

* * *

"Kuni, you awake, un?" There was a quiet knock at the door, shaking me out of my stupor. "Y-yes! Come in, Deidara-sama!" That strange flutter in my stomach came alive again, setting my nerves on edge – but _why_?

"Good morning, Kuni – what exactly are you doing, un?" He looked at me, mildly confused – and for the first time, I realised how close I was to the sheet of falling rain, my eyelashes wet from the drops. I shuffled away, slightly pink as Deidara-sama grinned. "Let me guess – you were watching the rain fall, weren't you, un?"

I didn't quite know what to say to that. There was something about the rain I wanted to keep my own little secret – it was a stupid, whimsical thought, I knew, but all the same…

Deidara-sama shook his head at my silence, hair nearly catching on the ceiling. Again, I weighed up my two options – either my room was _tiny_, or Deidara-sama was very tall. "Let's see what's so good about the rain then, shall we, yeah?" He dragged a blanket off my pile, flopping down next to me. My breath caught again at the scent of pepper, and I went pink once again, as I caught a glimpse of his toned arms. _Shit_. That did not just happen.

"Uh…" I trailed off. It was barely past seven in the morning – all this confusion and blushing was even more stupefying than normal.

"Well. Rainwatching. That's new, then, yeah." He was obviously pretty tired too, and so we sat there, quiet, lazy, eyes half-shut in a comfortable silence cocooned by a thousand falling raindrops.

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I wanted to watch the rain – really, I wanted to see how Kuni saw everything, but I couldn't. My eyes were instead drawn to her with no conscious thought – I smiled as her eyes closed gently. Her skin was pale – very pale.

And then she spoke. "When I was little… I used to skip stones in the rain, and pretend to myself that the ripples on the water was my stone… skipping away endlessly. I used to pretend to myself that I could do the same thing." The words were careful and slow.

"And then what happened?"

"I grew up."

The rain was fading now – just very slightly, but the haziness was as overpowering as ever. I tried to comprehend what Kuni's life would have been like with Orochimaru, but I couldn't – the idea of it was simply too outlandish. But I felt something tug at my insides all the same.

"I wish I had that feeling back, Deidara-sama."

She felt trapped here. It was getting to her, at last – the claustrophobia, of not being able to get away. She hadn't seen nature for nearly a month now – this was so _confusing_! I had a mission to do – dammit – but it didn't have to mean that I had to be cold, did it?

Did it?

"Kuni, what did you do, back there, when it rained?"

"W-why do you want to know?"

"Just tell me, un."

"I… I used to hide in the trees, as high as I could make it without being scared… and just used to sit there, watching the river swell and the rain drip very slowly. And I used to walk through the forests, if I was lucky and could get away. But mostly… I just used to find a quiet place, a private place… and just feel the r-rain against me."

It was that last hesitation that made up my mind for me. For the second time, I grabbed Kuni and stood up.

Except this time I noticed how well her small hand slipped into mine.

* * *

"Thank y—"

"Kuni, you don't have to thank me for every little thing, un!"

"As I was saying – thank you, Deidara-sama." She smiled slightly, lifting her face to the gentle rain. I looked away, squeezing a lump of clay as hard as I could, confusion and guilt – and something like butterflies – churning in me. I wanted to scream at that point.

We were near the Akatsuki base, but not so near it that I was paranoid that Sasori no Danna was going to come storming out, hackles raised. It was a heavily forested area, with a wide, shallow stream cutting through the foliage, swollen and fast running. Kuni was standing at the edge of the brook, the water lapping at her feet, palms outstretched and perfectly still. I was sitting on a flattish rock under the trees – it was _cold_, dammit, and I didn't _like_ the rain.

Kuni's expression almost made up for it. I kept quiet.

She ran her fingers over a tree trunk, grasping the thick lower branches. "Deidara-sama, I haven't climbed a tree for _so_ long! Are y-you coming up as well?" She blushed slightly – but I didn't smile back. Not this time.

What _was_ this?

There was utter concentration on her face, as her limbs shook with the effort and pure strain as she tried to haul herself up. Again and again and again. A defeated, embarrassed, exhausted look crept over her face, and she let go, clattering to the ground. "N-no." She stared at her red hands.

"K-Kuni…" I willed her not to cry – god, if she cried, all my resolve would crumble. I wanted to get closer to her, but I couldn't.

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

Have you ever known pure, total exhaustion? It's not when you're so tired you can't move. It's not when your limbs feel like chunks of lead. It's when your _mind_ is so tired you can't think straight – and then everything else falls apart too.

_**The smallest triggers can lead to the biggest explosions**_.

_See?_ Murasaki's voice echoed through my mind. _You're so fat you can't even climb the tree. You're weak, pathetic, ugly._

"N-no." I didn't want to believe it.

"Kuni…" Deidara-sama spoke, still three feet away, not moving any closer. I wasn't sure why I wanted him near me – maybe, just maybe, the comfort of human warmth would help.

_See. He doesn't even want to touch you. That's how absolutely worthless you are. If you were beautiful, he'd like you. If you were thin, he'd love you._

"But I'm not! I won't be!"

"Kuni..?" Deidara spoke again, faint and misty.

_But you can be. I remember, back with Orochimaru – I remember how you used to look at me. You were jealous, weren't you, of all the boys wanting me, and all the girls wanting to be me?_

How did Murasaki know that?

_I know everything, Number 37. And do you know what? I'm going to prove it to you. You want Deidara? Stop eating. Don't touch food. The thinner you are, the more beautiful you become. And if you're beautiful, Deidara will love you._

Did I want Deidara-sama? Of course not – the notion was completely, totally absurd, no matter how hot my cheeks went. But as I told you – I was exhausted. And Murasaki made sense. Murasaki was _always_ right. I didn't want her to be disappointed in me.

I wouldn't touch food.

"Kuni! Kuni! What's _wrong_ with you, un?" I was suddenly aware of strong, warm hands gripping my shoulders.

"Deidara-sama? Wait – Deidara-sama? What are you _doing_!" I looked up in blank shock, to be met with Deidara-sama's worried blue eyes. I was huddled up, close – so close – to him, my nose level with his chest. Automatically, my heart started thundering.

"You were… you were…" he gestured vaguely, "…crying, un. What's wrong, Kuni, yeah?" He ran a thumb across my cheekbone – a coarse, work-roughened one – and showed me the drop of moisture. I didn't pay much attention to it – my skin burned where he touched it, where his breath fanned across my face.

I don't know how long we sat there, in the wet foliage, Deidara-sama carefully wiping away my tears, me staring in blank, dizzying shock. The rain had become a mist now, shrouding everything in a thin, gauzy glow.

Without meaning to – without conscious thought, I reached for his hand. A slow look of horror passed across his face, gobsmacked, as he registered what he was doing – how intensely close we were.

And that moment broke, and the exhaustion came back, and Murasaki was all that made sense again.

* * *

**Dammit, why are all my chapters so depressing? I think the rain (or writing about it anyway) makes me all romantic and melancholy XD **

**If you've heard about the floods going on here in Australia, a moment of silence, please?**

**REVIEWWWWWWWWWWW? *clutches head and screams***

**XX Tutti**


	15. Chapter 15

**Woah, I actually managed to have a break of... _FIVE _DAYS! *le gasp!* **

**Oh, and a customary glomp to Scherben!

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**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

You know when there's something you _know_ you shouldn't do – and then the urge to do that very thing grows even stronger? And then it starts eating at you.

So, here I was, standing in front of Sasori's room - _again._ This was growing to be a daily routine for me, no?

Except now my curiosity was insatiable – god, who was _behind_ that door? All those colours – those different auras and people – it was frustrating. And yet I was still too much of a coward to ask Sasori about it.

So I was sneaking into his room.

Maybe my mind wasn't working properly – I sure didn't sleep enough these days, no matter how hard I tried. But Sasori had pulled Deidara-sama away for some job, and the door was unlocked.

Something seemed suspicious then – but then, my head wasn't working properly. And Murasaki said it was fine, anyway.

I held my breath, almost in fear, wondering if I would find a dungeon filled with people on the other side of the door (that kinda seemed like Sasori's style). So when I actually dared to look into Sasori's room, I could feel the anticipation whooshing out of me in the definitive sense of anticlimax.

Dolls. Puppets, to be more precise – creepy, life-sized puppets with dangling limbs and clattering jaws. No. This wasn't _right_ – how could these _puppets_ have an aura? I looked around the room, looking for another door, or a giant cage, maybe – but all there was were a hundred different folders and scrolls, neatly stacked, and a meticulously clean workbench. Tools hung from the walls, planks of wood separated from the nuts and bolts. It was dim and musty in here.

I shook my head in defeat, all fear rushing from me. So _this_ was what this teenager did in here all day? Make downright sinister _puppets_?

Something familiar caught my eyes, distracting me from the puppets for a moment. It was a symbol – quite a few symbols, actually, written in tiny, neat handwriting across the side of a folder. I don't know why it caught my eye – I didn't know how to read at all – but these were as familiar as my own reflection.

_My name – my number._

I couldn't read them, but I knew they said 'Test Number 37'.

A lump of dread hardened in my empty stomach. The colours came rushing back to me, and suddenly, those puppets on the wall weren't puppets – they were dead bodies, butchered and tampered with mercilessly. I lurched back against the workbench, sick.

In that moment, I realised there was a whole lot more to this place – this _boy_, Sasori, than I first noticed. And I had to find out why he was keeping tabs on me.

* * *

"Ah… Kuni. What brings you here?" Itachi-sama's face was as cool and bored as ever, and I felt myself being appraised at that moment. I gulped, and remembering my name written on that file, went on.

"Itachi-sama… I hope you don't mind but… I have a favour to ask." I saw his eyebrow rise, and added hastily: "Only if it's not too much trouble!" Behind him, I could see the shelves of books – those same heavy ones that had caught my eye, stopped my breath the other day.

"What is it?" His voice was a little too sharp for my liking.

"Willyoupleaseteachmehowtoread?" I clenched my fists and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the blow.

"No."

"W-why not?"

"Get someone else to teach you. Like Konan, or Deidara. You're friends with them, are you not?" The door was halfway shut before I registered what was happening.

"Wha—wait! Deidara-sama's not here, and Konan-san… well…" I blushed at the last part, and Itachi-sama opened the door in spite of himself.

"Konan-san _what_?" I bit my lip. Dammit. What if Itachi-sama and Konan-san were together? I couldn't exactly go around badmouthing her.

"Konan-san might make me do more origami!"

I could swear on my life I saw the shadow of a smile cross his face just then.

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

Dammit. My arms were _sore_ today – it was like Sasori no Danna was purposely punishing me by training my arse off. And for what? His stupid idea that I was growing _attached_ to Kuni.

"Hey, Kuni, yeah!"

"Deidara-sama, guess what!" Her eyes were alight, and I felt a smile spreading across my cheeks. Dammit. Why was I grinning like an idiot?

"What, un?"

"Itachi-sama's teaching me how to read and write! I mean, he said it would take _forever_ – and that I'd start really simple, with my letters and stuff, and I won't be able to read big words for months, and reading a proper book is _entirely_ out of the question – and do you know that _no one_ else from the village knew how to read? And I'm actually going to be the _first_!""

Read and write. It was nothing new, nothing special for me. But seeing it be a big deal for _her_, something unique and wonderful for _her_, somehow made it extraordinary for _me_.

* * *

"Itachi's teaching Kuni how to read and write – she's practically hyperventilating with excitement."

Sasori no Danna looked up from the scroll he was pouring over.

"He's doing _what_?"

"Teaching her how to—"

"I heard you the first time." He snarled, walking over to the door and back, as the scroll snapped and furled tightly.

What confused me the most was the _agitation_ – however imperceptible it was, it was _there_. Never, _ever_ had I seen Danna so… well, volatile.

He stopped in front of his workbench, returning to his usual colourless demeanour. "Hmm."

"What happened, un?"

"Brat, get out of my room before I poison you."

What was going on?

* * *

**That was... dodgy.**

**I hope you liked the chapter anyway – now would be my cue to say something like 'Aha! The plot thickens!" while wearing something suitably Hercule Poirot-ish. A monocle, maybe.**

**Please review!**

**XX Tutti**

**P.S. And yes, I had to add in the part where Kuni thinks that Konan and Itachi are dating. Hehe.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Yaaaay to everyone ****awesome enough to review! Of course, a bouquet of plastic roses (what? I'm broke!) to anonymous reviewer e0e!

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**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV~~||~~||~~**

It was another one of those too-early, dove-grey mornings. I was in the kitchen – it felt almost alien here now. I was nearly done with the natto I was making, the miso soup and steamed rice quietly cooling in the corner. This was some sort of masochistic, sick torture, wasn't it – making food for others while not being able to eat at all?

God, I was _tired_.

"M-m-morning," Deidara-sama clattered into the kitchen, still foggy with the last tendrils of sleep. My heart gave an odd, jittery jump as I saw his mussed-up hair, the muscles of his bare arms flexing as he stretched up the ceiling. I willed myself not to go pink as I turned back and randomly threw in about half a bottle of sauce to the bowl – an action my taste buds would definitely regret later on.

"M-morning, Deidara-sama!" I felt weird and squeamish, my legs almost like jelly as my mind traced back to _that_ moment – that moment where his hands wiped away my tears.

_No. Shut up. Don't remember that._

"Kuni, un," he grumbled into his hair, "honestly, do you know how _noisy_ you are? Count yourself lucky that Hidan probably doesn't know what a kitchen is, or you'd be dead." He sniffed the air. "Whoa. That smells—"

"S-sorry!" _Dammit. Why all the stuttering again?_ "I'll be more quiet, I promise. I mean, what'd you _do_ without my food keeping you alive?" More like, what would _I_ so if Hidan came in here with a seven-foot steel blade?

"Hah! I'll manage, yeah." There was that fleeting little smile – that smile that made his eyes glitter mischievously for just a second.

"Oh no you wont. Go on, try some of the miso and I'll be _damned_ if you don't fall over to the floor begging my forgiveness." I said, only just to make him smile at me again. And he did – that grin that sent delicious shivers up my spine.

"Will do, un." He scooped up a bowl of miso, lifting it up to his lips. I watched with a hint of trepidation – I hadn't tasted any of the soup while cooking, in case I couldn't stop myself and downed the whole thing.

"Uh… Kuni, un?"

**~~||~~||~~ 3****rd**** Person ~~||~~||~~**

"What is it? Is the miso b-bad?" She pounced upon the silence immediately.

"What? No, un! I haven't even tried it yet! I can't eat with you staring at me, yeah."

"S-sorry." Kuni blushed pink, casting her gaze elsewhere. "I just get nervous, y'know… wondering if people actually like my cooking or just eat it to make me feel a little better about myself." Deidara looked at her, mind ticking away, and she stood there, feeling so awkward and stupid he laughed.

"Kuni, trust me, you are possibly the best cook I've ever seen. I don't think my... my _mother _made food as well as you do, un." He added for effect, slurped up the miso, feeling oddly empty and heavy at the same time as Kuni's eyes swivelled towards him, wistful.

"Deidara-sama? What's it like – having a…a _mother_?" Uh oh. The 'effect' backfired spectacularly.

"W-what?" The truth was that there was nothing wrong with Deidara's hearing – no, the problem was that sticky, intense shame in his chest again – like it was _his_ fault that Kuni looked so forlorn. Like he wanted desperately to make her smile again. But what could he say? How could he pretend to know anything about _families_?

Trust Kuni to have such serious conversations at approximately 7:30AM.

"It's okay, Deidara-sama." She looked down with quiet understanding. "You don't have to answer that. I'm sorry."

Deidara looked at her, studying her. She had changed so much in the short time he had known her – but she was still _there_. Kuni's innocent acceptance was still _there_, and that's what was going to kill her.

"Kuni."

"Y-yeah, Deidara-sama?"

She waited for him to say something, but he stayed silent and still. Kuni looked up, mouth open to say anything – _anything_ to break that stifling silence that was suddenly thrust upon them – and shut it immediately. Deidara was looking at her – just looking, his gaze probing and too intense to bear. Even though they were standing on the opposite sides of the room, it was suddenly too hot, too close, too much for Kuni to withstand. She snapped, thrusting the bowl of natto into Deidara's chest, breaking that spell.

"H-here you g-go!" She breathed heavily, for reasons she couldn't quite comprehend (fact was, she had stopped breathing for those twenty or so seconds).

"Wh-wha – oh! Ah… thanks, un." Deidara accepted the food, shaking his head to bring himself back to clarity.

He looked at Kuni at precisely the same time as her jaw dropped in horror. "Oh no!"

"What's up, yeah?" The mood in the kitchen abruptly changed – that easy-goingness was back, and Deidara stoically chewed the natto and rice, eyes curious (taste buds dying in a horrendous gory way).

"Um – I'm kinda sorta supposed to be at Itachi-sama's right now!" She wrenched open the door to the kitchen, grabbing a plate of food, throwing words behind her back. "Sorry Deidara-sama, for leaving you – but Itachi-sama really doesn't seem like the kind of person who _waits_ for people, you know?"

Deidara glowered as an image of Sasori popped into his head. Oh yeah, he _did_ know.

The door slammed shut. "Sorry!" Kuni squealed, and Deidara chuckled.

"The natto tastes great by the way, un!"

"Thank you!"

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"You're late."

"I'm s-sorry. I made some breakfast for you…and then Deidara-sama came in and…" I trailed off, noticing Itachi-sama's expression was blank and bored. At a loss for what to do, I ended up holding the tray out to him. I seemed to be doing that a _lot_ these days – not that I minded, though. I liked cooking for people, liked seeing the empty plates and bowls – it made me feel important. _Needed_, even.

He sighed. "Come in," he nudged me into his room, taking the food from me and pointing towards the desk. I cast my eyes around the place – there were those heavy, thick books and scrolls lining the wall – and it was dim in here, the furniture and bedding and the _mood_ was dim and dull and dusty. I perched on the edge of the chair, as he sighed once more and placed a stick of whitish chalk and a dark-green board in front of me.

"This is chalk, as I assume you know, and _this_ is a chalkboard. I doubt you had one back at Ota—at your village." He pointed to the bottle green board. "There are twenty six different letters in the alphabet – those twenty six letters make up any number of words and names and such. Along with that, there are different symbols – called _punctuation_ – that mean different things, depending on what they are and where you put them." He paused for a minute, and stared at me oddly for a second. There was a dull throbbing ache in my jaw, and I realised I was smiling so hard my mouth hurt. I bit my lip, taking the information in, wanting him to go on.

"Did you understand all of that? Well, today, I'll teach you the first two letters of the alphabet - each letter is written in two ways. One is a _capital_ letter, a 'big' letter at the beginning of a name or sentence, and the other is a _lower_ _case_ letter, and that's what you normally write with. Here," he took the chalk and board from me, writing two symbols on it. "This is a capital 'A'." He pointed at the larger one – something that looked like a distorted triangle, if I had to be honest, "and this is a lower case 'a'." He pointed at an oval with a tail. "Try tracing these."

I grasped the stick of chalk like Itachi-sama showed me – it felt _strange_, to hold something so familiar in such a foreign way – and pressed it against the board, trying to go over the lines as smoothly and speedily as he had.

It was a _complete_ failure. My hand skidded over the chalkboard, smudging the letters, snapping the chalk in half. Oh _no_. Chalk was precious – there wasn't much of it back home – and I had broken a perfectly new stick. "S-sorry, I-Itachi-sama." I expected a few angry words at least, but he was silent, writing the letters again, handing the board back to me.

"Go slowly, Kuni. There's no hurry. And try it with your other hand, to see which one's easier." His voice was gentler – _much_ gentler than I had heard so far.

And so I tried again, swapping the chalk to my left hand. It _was_ easier – not by much, and my fingers still felt weird and weak – but still, it was an improvement! I traced the letters again. And again.

And I kept on tracing them, until all my mind contained was a picture of a distorted triangle and an oval with a tail on it.

And I _thought_ I was doing alright. But then Itachi-sama made me write the letters on clean slate, without a guide. And _then_ he introduced something he called the letter 'B', which really just looked like the mutated half of a butterfly.

But I was _writing_ something – anything, and it felt… beautiful.

* * *

"So, how'd it go, un?"

"It was… okay, I guess." I ran my finger along the edge of my teacup, staring into the depths of my green tea.

"Hah. Kuni, I know you well enough to realise you're _dying_ of happiness, un!"

"Fine… it was _brilliant!_ Deidara-sama, I'm _actually_ learning how to _read and write! _Except it's difficult to get my head wrapped around the whole concept of it – how only twenty six letters can make up every word ever invented. And it's a little finicky – like Konan-san's origami – but who _cares_?"

Deidara-sama leant back and took another sip. "It is a little confusing when you first start. It's only your first day, don't beat yourself up over it if you don't get it right, un. I _know_ you'll get there – just keep practicing, yeah!"

Something in his encouraging smile made me blush and I concentrated on the silvery spirals of steam rising from my tea after that.

"Itachi-sama also gave me the chalkboard and a bit of paper with the alphabet on it and told me to keep at it."

"That's great, un. Itachi's never this nice to anyone – heck, he's a moody bastard – so you must be special, Kuni."

There was a brief silence, with much slurping of tea. I refilled Deidara-sama's cup without him having to ask – it was like that these days. We had learnt each others habits.

"Itachi-sama also said he'd personally enlist Hidan to give me the most _twisted_, _sadistic_ and downright _gory_ death imaginable if I didn't get _all_ of my letters right by our next lesson."

Deidara-sama choked on a mouthful of tea, and I kept my head down, smiling.

"He said WHAT to you? That little weasel—" he stood up, eyes narrowed.

"I'm joking, joking Deidara-sama! _Relax_!" I grinned, delighted at his melodramatic reaction as he stopped halfway to the door, scowling at me.

"Kuni," he pouted (my goodness his pout made him look – shut _up_ shut _up_ shut _UP_ Kuni!). "I swear, un, your sense of humour has multiple issues." He sat down again with a huff.

I bit my lip to stop smiling. "Deidara-sama, you went ballistic at something Itachi-sama supposedly said to _me_, of all people. My sense of humour is fine – you just overreact to everything!" I tugged his hair gently, my laughter making me giddy – and bolder than I really should have been.

And then my heart stuttered erratically as I peered at him from over my cup of tea.

Deidara-sama was _blushing_.

* * *

**Ahahahahahahah! Did you like the ending? I quite did XD**

**On another, non-cheesy note, I'd just like to point out that with Kuni's literacy lessons, I will be using ENGLISH. I know nothing about Japanese and don't want to make stupid mistakes by trying to sound all authentic!**

**Also, I doubt I have the time or skill to magically learn hiragana/katakana XD**

**Please review! I really need feedback!**

**XX Tutti**

**P.S. Should we let Kuni know that she gave Deidara REALLY bad food? Natto is fermented soy beans eaten with karashi mustard and soy sauce over rice, by the way. It's really healthy. Doesn't smell that nice though XD**


	17. Chapter 17

**Some extreme PoV-swapping in this here chapter!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed :D Please people who've favourited... can you do the same?**

**Cheers!**

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**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I had a strange habit of looking at the sky each morning to determine my mood. Of course, it's not like the clouds were my own personal mood ring, but I had a theory that rainy days always ended up being wonderful, comfortable, cosy days where nothing went wrong. So when I opened my eyes to a sullen grey sky, I grinned. I had taken to sleeping under the skylight, counting the stars in my own personal bit of night.

I shivered a little at the cold, wondering why my limbs felt frozen solid.

Gah. My brain didn't work these days.

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"Ah, so what comes after _J_, Deidara-sama? I always forget."

"It goes _H, I, J, K_, un. Come on, your own name begins with it!"

"It does?" She sounded her name out. "It does too! Does your name start with…" she stopped at said my name, "D? The letter D is green for me, and so is your name! I asked Itachi-sama before, but all I got from him were some statements comparing you to a…" she trailed off at the last part, grinning.

We were in the kitchen – Kuni's kitchen, as I had now come to think of it – and she had shoved a knife and a bowl of vegetables into my hands, saying "wash them, and cube them please, Deidara-sama!"

And here she was waltzing around the kitchen, stopping only to cut up some unidentifiable herb or ingredient with amazing speed and tossing them into the ramen she was making. While I struggled laboriously with a _spring onion_.

She looked over at me briefly, shaking her head. "Deidara-sama, have you never cut anything, ever?"

"I'm an artist, not a chef, un!" She smiled and took the knife and wilting vegetables from me. "Here, this is how you do it. Cut them about this big – that way, they'll cook faster, and you won't have giant chunks of onion everywhere."

"Ah, but _of course_, Kuni-sama!" I finished with a flourish and a bow, smiling as I saw her cheeks immediately redden in that way that had become familiar to me.

"Don't call me _Kuni-sama_!" She said hotly. I relented as she scowled at me, retrieving the knife from her hands.

"Fine, fine—ouch!" I winced – dammit, I had stabbed my finger on Kuni's _lethally_ sharp knife.

"Deidara-sama!" Kuni's eyes were wide, hands – indescribably soft hands – flying to my bleeding finger.

If I said I didn't like the attention, it would be a downright _lie_.

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"Are you okay?" My god, he was _bleeding_. A horrible long gash down his index finger, right down the back of his hand to his wrist, bleeding copiously. "It's my fault – I only just sharpened those knives, and then I made you –"

"Kuni! Kuni, relax, un! You're such a worrywart, yeah. It's okay, it doesn't even hurt."

I looked at him, aghast. "That's _exactly_ what a boy called Test Number 29 said. And do you know what happened three days later? He died! Deidara-sama, I do _not_ want you to die!" I hurried to the pantry – I _swear_ I had seen a bit of cayenne pepper back there. It was only as I was bringing it back that I realised what I had said.

"Oh… I didn't mean it like that…" I glanced at Deidara-sama, who was smiling wolfishly, teasingly at me, and right on cue, I blushed.

"Deidara-sama..! I do NOT like you!" But it sounded wobbly even to my ears, whilst Deidara-sama smiled, his eyes saying otherwise.

Oh dear.

He passed over my heated cheeks, and I breathed an inward sigh of relief at his next words. "Come here Kuni – wait, why have you got _pepper_, un?"

I grabbed a clean washcloth and dipped into water, hurrying to his side, my face still feeling hot. "Cayenne pepper is good to stop the bleeding, Deidara-sama. Don't worry, it won't hurt."

He sighed. "I suppose I'll have to trust you then, un." He stretched out his arm and I wiped the blood off, sprinkling over the cut with the pepper. A few moments later, he spoke up again.

"I mean, I no choice, do I? You'll give everyone a headache crying if your precious Dei-kun died of blood poisoning, un."

I willed myself not to look up, instead concentrating on screwing the lid of the bottle back on. "I would retaliate with an absolutely _biting_ comeback, Deidara-_sama, _but I'm too busy laughing my butt off at the fact you talked about yourself in the third person, _and_ called yourself _precious Dei-kun_ in the process."

A brief silence.

"I hate you, Kuni. Honestly, un."

But I could make out the laughter in his voice.

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"Brat, get in here. I need you to do something for me." Sasori no Danna's voice cut through the gentle patter of the rain, and I followed him warily into his room, not entirely liking where this was going.

"What is it, un?" My mind, to be honest, was on Kuni at this moment – I don't exactly know why though. Maybe the rain reminded me of her.

"I need you to get some information about Test Number 37. It's nothing extraordinary, I assure you, just a hypothesis I need to test out."

"Danna, I'm not sure, un…"

"I'm assuming you'll do it?"

"I'm—"

"Very good." His voice was crisp, and the sense of foreboding grew stronger. "I need you to find out whether Test Number 37 is acting – seeing her colours and such – consciously. Whether she can actually _control_ her power, and to what extent."

"How do I do _that_, un?" I was slightly annoyed – her name was _Kuni_, and she was _not_ a test subject.

"Simple. Cut off her air supply while she sleeps, until she awakens and becomes aware of it, and then escape."

"WHAT?"

"Don't shout. It's quite easy, and brilliant, if I may say so. If she knows who did it, then she is actively using her talents. If not, she will never suspect it was you." What he hoped to gain by that, I had no idea, and I didn't particularly want to know.

"How do you know that, un?" I clung to whatever hope I could, feeling faintly sick.

"Tell me, does she know I am a puppet?"

"N-no, un."

"It's the same principle. She knows there's something different – something… _inhuman_ about me, but the thought never crosses her mind – it's too outlandish for her narrow vision of the world. People believe what they want to believe – and she trust you far too much to even dream that you would try to harm her."

No. I couldn't do it – watch her peacefully sleep and then choke her – could I? "She isn't narrow minded, un." I bided my time in a desperate bid for an alternative – any alternative.

Sasori's eyes were flint hard and chillingly brutal. "You _will_ do it, brat. If not, I'll assume your loyalties to the Akatsuki are wavering, Deidara." He dragged me to the door – my limbs heavy and my mind too confused to retaliate.

"W-wait!" He stopped. "Why do you need to know? Didn't your spies already tell you that she can use her power even if her sense are cut off, un?"

He gave me a last appraising look. "The first question, I won't answer. The second – here's a tip. Never trust your spies too much. Especially if they're tracking Orochimaru."

The door slammed shut. I stood there, eyes wide. Hurting people, killing people – it was nothing to me. I enjoyed it, savoured the feel of power. I didn't care who I hurt. Then what was different this time?

I already knew. I couldn't harm the person I considered my only friend in the world.

But Sasori – I knew that now – had his own agenda. His own plans and secrets. And he would do _anything_ to do it, lost in his fanatical fervour.

And then it hit me. By my hands or not, Kuni was going to _die_.

Well then. There was no other way, was there?

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**CLIFFHANGER! WOO! So... Sasori's a conniving sadist, Deidara's made his decision, Kuni… is hopelessly lost, as usual.**

**Tell me what you thought of that one :D**

**Please review!**

**Thank you :D Love you all!**

**XX Tutti**


	18. Chapter 18

**Oh wow, LONG time no update! Sorry, sorry, school started again - and not just any school, but a *GASP* new, shiny school where they believe we have nothing better to do than check our school email accounts in hope for MORE HOMEWORK. Yee!**

**Ahh, well, I'm back. This chapter will be choppy, and skip POVS and scenes quite quickly, but that's how its supposed to be (sorta XD) Please bear with me - or better yet, enjoy!**

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**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

The rain was lashing down even harder now, in great torrents that battered against the closed skylight in the kitchen (that was one place we really _had_ managed to put in something useful). Kuni was red cheeked, rinsing out the dirty rags and tossing them into the bucket with a relieved sigh. She had – dragging me along too – given the whole place another cleaning, after I had managed to epically burn whatever she was cooking. I threw my rags into the bucket too – dammit, my wrists hurt.

"Oh gosh, Deidara-sama, afraid of a little cleaning?" She teased. I aimed a scowl her way – and then I remembered. I remembered Sasori's instructions, and what I had to do.

"In your dreams, un. I just happen to be terrified of short eighteen-year-old girls with pots of boiling water in their hands and a sadistic streak, yeah." The playful words slipped out of me easily, while my gut sunk with dread.

"Me? Sadistic? _Never._ If I remember correctly, _you_ were the one who nearly blew me up because your hair is so _long_ you look like a _girl_!" She laughed – and that laugh nearly shattered me.

This was the situation. It was either me or her. If I carried out Sasori's instructions, she would die, either the day after or a little while later. If I didn't – it would give her a little more time. But then _I_ would be killed.

While these catatonic thoughts dug graves in my head and sent cold trickles of guilt down my spine, our conversation flowed naturally. It was easy to talk to Kuni.

"Do you even _like_ cleaning, Kuni? I mean, cooking I understand – that's your passion – but do you honestly enjoy working, un?"

She paused for a moment. "Work is work, Deidara-sama, and how you feel about it doesn't matter one bit. Besides," she grinned slightly. "It's not too bad when I have you around for company."

"The pleasure is all mine, un." My god, everything she said was designed to make me feel like _crap_.

"Even though you are a horrible, arrogant, lazy _idiot_."

I let her insult me – the words spoke the truth, even though she was joking. I let her have it, because after this, she never laugh with me again.

* * *

It was almost eleven at night, and I couldn't sleep – then I heard two soft, gentle knocks on the door. Only one person here would bother to knock at all. I almost didn't answer, almost ignored her, but it would only add to the hurt I was going to deliver.

"What is it, un?" I peered down at Kuni, sticking my head around the door. She looked nervous and slightly sheepish (a little like the time she got stuck in the skylight, and that memory brought up a sick laugh, borne of pent-up frustration). It was then that I noticed she dragged a blanket behind her.

"I-I'm r-really sorry, I didn't m-mean to wake you Deidara-sama, b-but…do you have a spare blanket?" The rain accentuated her words with a particularly heavy shower.

"It's okay Kuni," _I should be the one apologizing_. "I wasn't asleep, yeah." _No, I was biding my time until I could sneak into your room and suffocate you_. "Sure, you can have my spare – feeling cold, un?" _I am._

"N-not exactly…" I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes – it was a reminder of how twisted I was. "I-I'm sleeping in the kitchen t-tonight."

"WHAT?" Her words were strange enough to shake me out of the stupor I was in for a second.

"It's raining really hard and…" she blushed, tucking the blanket I had given her under her arm. "My room… well… it kind of… flooded. Thanks for the blanket, Deidara-sama."

She was halfway down the tunnel as I sighed. Just when I thought it couldn't be bad enough. "Kuni."

"Go to sleep, Deidara-sama." She glanced back. "You look tired." She slung her own blanket over her shoulder and made her way to the kitchen.

"Kuni, come back." I felt sick, repulsive, a guilty hurt biting at me. "I'm not letting you sleep in the kitchen, un." I could've stopped, but I didn't.

"It's fine, Deidara-sama—"

"No, it's not, it's freezing in there, un. You can sleep in my room." It was like part of me had detached – and my body, my sickening soul, spoke for itself while the rest of me watched in disgust.

'W-what?" She blushed, and my heart stuttered. I could stop, even now, keep her away from her doom.

"Come on, un." I grabbed her arm, and it was too late.

* * *

"Thank y-you, Deidara-sama… but you really _didn't_ have to give me your futon!"

"It's okay. I'm not going to sleep much anyway."

She propped herself up on her elbows, looking worried. "Do you want me to make you some tea? I know there's some fennel in the—"

"Kuni, just sleep, un." I leant back against the wall, looking at the ceiling, the sandy floor, the lamp – anywhere but Kuni.

"Oh-okay, Deidara-sama." She hesitated. "D-do you want me to leave the lamp on?"

Maybe I wanted her to give me one last smile – that beautiful, open, _giving_ smile. But it was more than that. I wanted to see her sleeping peacefully.

Before I choked her.

"Sure, un."

* * *

**(A/N: ARGH! Why do my stories require so many freakin' lines to chop them up?)**

I didn't sleep after that either. I couldn't – I had to do something so indescribably… wrong. But I had to do it. It was either me, or Kuni. Kuni, my only friend. Kuni, who was sleeping quietly, innocently in my bed. Why had I given her the futon anyway? The guilt? I looked at her again, trying to delay the inevitable by staring at her curled-up form, her lips parted in a tiny 'oh', her soft brown hair whorled over her brow.

She was so _vulnerable_.

No.

Stop thinking, stop _feeling_, Deidara. My mind flashed back to what Kuni – no, what _Test Number 37_ has said before. _Work is work, Deidara-sama, and how you feel about it doesn't matter one bit_.

She was right. Slowly, lithely, I got up until I was on my knees – there was really no point in standing up. I grabbed the blanket I was using on my way to where K—to where Test Number 37 was lying. On my knees, looking down at her, the blanket held ready, I blew out the lamp. Now the only light was the sparse moonbeams that bathed her face silver.

This was it. I tugged the blanket experimentally. No hesitation. I was her enemy, she was my victim. Just like before. Just like always.

She smiled.

And that was all it took. Her one, dimpled smile, and I broke. She was Kuni, not Test Number 37.

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I woke, feeling deliciously warm and comfortable. Wait, why? I struggled awake, my mind clearing as I remembered – everything.

I was in Deidara-sama's _room_. In Deidara-sama's _bed_. The rain had disappeared, and Deidara-sama himself was zonked out in the corner – all he had on was a single blanket. His face was calm in sleep, a lock of blonde hair fluttering up with each breath and settling back onto his lips – lips I dared not look at for too long.

_Oh god, he's cute_.

Not that I really minded his playful, cool, know-it-all attitude when he was _awake_ or anything.

I noticed something then – I had an extra coverlet on. One that had _definitely_ not been there when I had previously fallen asleep. Even though no one else could see me, nor hear the way my heart thudded furiously, I blushed, looking over at Deidara-sama. Wasn't he cold?

Almost as if in a trance – the sane part of me was _definitely_ screaming it's guts off at me – I grabbed the cover and made my way over to Deidara-sama, very slowly, very quietly, tiptoeing, lifting the blanket and laying it over him. I cast one last look at him and—

That one glance was my undoing. I was fixed there, my heart beating unfairly loud, my breathing shallow. I stretched out one hand.

_No, Kuni, don't you DARE_

Oh god, I stared at my fingers, only inches away from Deidara-sama's face. What if he woke up, with me looking wide-eyed at him, my hand millimetres from his nose?

My fingertips were so close to his cheek that I could feel the warmth emanating from him.

_You wouldn't…_

One tiny, tiny touch. The barest contact – our skin touched. And I shot up, bounding out of the room like I had been electrified.

I was pathetic. So completely _cowardly_ the slightest touch made shivers race up and down my spine like lightning. Why couldn't I do anything more? Why could I just _tell_ him, instead of running away, making bold jokes when inside all I felt was jelly?

Poor, pathetic Kuni who was too afraid of rejection to do anything else.

**~~||~~||~~ Third Person ~~||~~||~~**

Back inside, Deidara was staring at the cracks in the ceiling, eyes wide, unblinking. He touched his cheek hesitantly, half expecting it to be on fire.

Deidara was confused as to why he was blushing _again_. He exhaled slowly, wondering what the _hell_ had just happened.

And why did he want that moment replayed all over again?

* * *

It was late afternoon when they met again. It was sunny now, almost as if it hadn't rained at all – the only telltale sign the sopping wet blankets hung around Kuni's room. Deidara tentatively made his way inside, the memory of last night – and this morning – burnt into his skull. What had _happened_? Why couldn't he just _do_ it? And now how would he face Kuni, guilt heavy on his chest?

"D-D-Deidara-s-s-sama!" Kuni scrambled up, the blackboard currently in her lap thudding softly to the sand floor, the chalk snapping in half with a crack that resounded in the silence. Deidara stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to say, or how to say it. He attempted a cool, collected humour – it didn't work, Deidara knew, because Kuni looked at him strangely.

"Hey K-Kuni." _Dammit_. Deidara? _Stuttering_? If that wasn't a giveaway, nothing was. "What are you up to?" He gestured to the abandoned blackboard. Kuni looked confused for a moment, lost in other thoughts (that mostly centred around 'oh my god he knows he knows he _knows_ and now he _hates me_').

"Wh-oh! I-I'm practicing the letter 'L'. Itachi-sama tells me I've got thirteen more letters after this, so I better get a move on. Plus," she sighed. "I still keep forgetting what comes after 'J', Deidara-sama."

"Well—"

"Deidara-sama."

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?" Deidara froze.

"Nothing."

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes. "you're still standing up, Deidara-sama. You _always_ come in here and plonk yourself down, pull out a ball of clay and start fiddling with it. _And_ you're stuttering. You _never, ever_ stutter. _And_ you're not saying 'un' or 'yeah' after every second word like you normally do."

"I'm not…un?" Deidara started as he realised it was all true. How did Kuni notice so much? His mind flicked back to this morning.

"Now you're forcing the 'un's out." She sat down, pulling Deidara's sleeve. He noticed that she was careful not to touch his bare skin – mild disappointment plagued him, and he surprised himself by wondering how he could 'accidentally' touch her arm.

"Come on, Deidara-sama, you know you can tell me." Her eyes were gentle and soft and earnest.

They were utterly transfixing.

"I know I can, un." _I can trust __**you**__ with anything_.

"So go ahead!" She caught herself, stumbling over her words once more. "O-only if you w-want to, Deidara-sama, of c-course."

Deidara closed his eyes and sighed. "Kuni, you really need to stop stuttering, un. It's like at times you forget yourself – you speak freely, and then you remember something and start it up again, yeah."

"I-I'm sorry." Kuni was sidetracked momentarily. "But enough about me. W—"

"Kuni."

"Y-yeah?" She had the sneaking suspicion he was hiding something. But – as always – she said yes. She yielded.

"Do you remember that day when… when I found you… looking at the sunset, un?"

"I do." _Oh, you mean that day you found me STUCK IN A HOLE IN THE ROOF? Oh. Yes. Vaguely._

"There was something you said – no, something in your expression, more like – like you were contemplating something mind-boggling. It's the same reason, isn't it, un? Why you stutter? Why you're always shy, un?" _Not that I mind making you blush…_

She was silent. "Possibly."

"Why don't we get it out in the open, un? Who was it that…"

"Makes me feel like I'm worthless?"

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I don't know how we had gotten onto this topic. I didn't much care, either. I was shocked – so shocked that Deidara-sama remembered such a tiny detail. I was amazed that someone actually gave a damn at all.

And suddenly, I wanted to spill. I wanted to tell _someone_ – _anyone_ of the hate and anger and fear at one single person that had built up inside of me, bottled away for _eighteen years_. And Deidara-sama was there, eyes serious, concerned.

God, looking into his eyes, I could've told him anything and everything.

"There was one girl."

"She bullied you, un?"

"Bingo. God – she was _perfect_. Clever, witty, beautiful, funny. Loved and adored by _everyone_ – even the guards posted around. She could twist people around her little finger. And for some reason, she decided to make my life a _misery_."

"Well, that just makes the fact that she was 'perfect' completely redundant, yeah." His eyes were narrowed. "Go on."

I bit back an empty laugh. "Because she didn't like me, no-one else did either. I couldn't get away from it – I had no family to go to, not one person I could trust. All the girls slept in the same dorms too, so it happened at night as well. Imagine that, Deidara-sama. Eighteen years of having no-one, ever." A sob, borne of resentment and isolation choked me.

"I was just… _lonely_, Deidara-sama. All I wanted was _one_ friend." Angry tears forced their way past my eyelids, and I brushed them away in annoyance. "I-I'm sorry, I know I probably sound like a whiny, childish _loser_. God, I'm such a sop."

"No, you're not, un. Don't think like that, Kuni." He patted my back gently, and I smiled at him.

"Thanks, Deidara-sama. I feel better. Besides… it doesn't matter anymore, does it? I have all of you now – and Hidan's not _nearly_ as bad as Murasaki."

"Her name's _Murasaki_? I was expecting something more along the lines of 'Heinous Bitch-chan'."

"To be honest, that's what I would have named her too." And just like that, we were laughing and joking again, all of our dark, horrible secrets and fears tucked away in a corner I hoped we'd never set foot in again.

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**Well. Teehee. Did you like?**

**Please PLEASE PLEASE review! Thank you all sooo much for your support!**

**XX Tutti**

**P.S. WOW this chapter was LOOOOOOONG. 10 pages on a WordDoc. **


	19. Chapter 19

**ALRIGHT, I'M SORRY! Honestly, I am. I know I haven't updated in EONS (and there goes my 'speedy updater' badge) but still... here, I'm posting like three chapters at once, so please don't shoot XD**

**Of course, a tackle-hug and a bunch of balloons for glitterthorn and Chimamire no Usagi for the reviews :D **

**Please guys, every review counts :D**

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**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

His words – his simple _words_ wouldn't get out of my head. They had burrowed into my skin, clamping down on my brain. It was just another pointless conversation of ours, wasn't it? So why did it feel like – like almost every other conversation we'd had – there was something… _more_ to be said. Like we were just skimming over the surface, both leaving our real purposes hidden.

And why oh _why_ had he looked so worried?

It was with these thoughts and baseless insecurities that I meandered around the whole place, exploring what seemed to be an endless warren of twists and turns. It was amazing, really, at just how many tunnels there were, interspersed by tiny, bright circular rooms – almost like sunlit glades in a forest. I wandered back and forth, a hint of dove grey leading me past the kitchen, a sliver of a luminescent purplish-green telling me that Kisame-sama was close, a flash of purest white that said that someone was bleeding—

_Wait_. Bleeding? It couldn't be—no, it was blood, alright, that white-hot light—but from where – _who_?

I looked around, gathering my bearings, panic starting to claw its way up my chest. I tried to focus on where the light was coming from, but certain thoughts like _holy shit holy shit holy SHIT SOMEONES BLEEDING TO DEATH_ kept floating through my head. I was close to the dorms, that I knew, and started to run, my feet thudding against the sand.

_Hah! You're so fat and slow, they'll probably die of blood loss before you get there!_ A familiar voice cackled in my head, and I choked back a whimper of fear. Murasaki was right. If only I wasn't so _tired_ – so close to just passing out.

I came upon a familiar tunnel – the dorms. Sasori's room was to my left, Hidan's, Kakuzu-sama's and Deidara-sama's along my right. Deidara-sama. Oh no. _Please no_.

I stood there uncertainly for a second, biting my lips to concentrate, trying to pinpoint where the colour came from. I heard something then – a low mutter from the right, and that quickly made up my mind.

I took 5 steps towards Hidan's room.

I don't know what happened after that.

First there was a moaning – a low, unearthly moan that no human could ever make, that I was sure of. It buzzed against my skin, a solid thing, and drilled into my ears. My breath hitched, just a little. Something was wrong. Much worse than just blood. But I didn't stop – I was _not_ going to let a stupid _noise_ stop me!

I took another step.

The low moan swelled until it was a scream – a loud scream, a painful scream, a scream that tattooed a rhythm into my heart. The buzzing turned into a hundred tiny needles that jabbed everywhere – at my feet, my eyes, down my throat. I raised a hand instinctively, trying to brush the needles off, but my hands were covered too. Of course I couldn't stop it.

_They were my own illusions_.

That I knew. How to stop them, I didn't.

I stumbled, curling up, drawing my knees to my chest, clamping my hands over my ears, my eyes squeezed shut. God, it didn't help – nothing helped. I thought I heard something vaguely – but, god, the screaming. The screaming and the pain.

"Kuni, un…? _KUNI_!" Deidara-sama. It was always Deidara-sama. A tiny part of my brain – the part that wasn't just an endless yell – was embarrassed. Another part of me wanted to curl up into his arms and cry. That moan, that shriek of pure agony, sent cold lumps of dread thudding into my stomach. I think I was crying by then, but I wasn't sure. Nothing made sense. Did I even exist, or was I just one tight-wound ball of pain and sound and cold, cold horror?

I felt hands – Deidara-sama's hands, on my shoulder, shaking me roughly. "What's _wrong_, un?" His voice cut through the noise in my head.

"B-b-blood…" the words all came jumbled together. "Hidan… h-he's…I can hear it…" I fought to make my voice heard. It all came out, in a scream of my own. "_D-DEIDARA, I CAN FEEL IT!" _It was louder now, pounding into my skull.

"Kuni! Kuni, I'm _here_!" I felt myself being lifted into the air, felt something warm against my body. Nothing made sense at that moment, apart from the bloodcurdling dread in my chest. And so I held onto that warmth – that comfort that was Deidara-sama, as if my life depended on it.

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Third Person ~~||~~||~~**

There was one other person watching that little scenario. He saw some things he liked _very_ much indeed – Test Number 37's reaction to Hidan's blood ritual, for one. That was perfect. All according to plan.

He also saw some things that made his lip curl in mocking disgust.

Enough was enough. The girl was catching on.

It was time to take matters into his _own_ hands.

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I made my usual rounds, giving out the usual trays of food, no matter what Deidara-sama said. The light and the voices and the pain had died away almost immediately, and even though Hidan was a complete… well, _arsehole_, I had to make sure he was alright. For my sanity.

Okay then. I took a deep breath. It was Hidan's turn next.

"OI! You effin' _brat!_ Watch it!" My side collided painfully with someone's chest, the trays rattling precariously. I would recognize those profanities anywhere.

"H-H-Hidan-s-san?" My eyes travelled over him fearfully – what the hell was I looking for anyway? Lacerations, maybe? Or some tell-tale bloody gashes? Whatever the case was, Hidan looked completely healthy and… bloodless. I didn't know whether to be relieved or not. Did this mean I was finally losing it – that my senses were taking over my life?

"What?" He spat.

"S-sorry!" I replied automatically, still slightly suspicious. He _was_ wearing an awfully big cloak…

"Damn _right_ you're effing sorry. Freakin' idiot… whacking her fat ass into me…" he muttered to himself, but I knew I was meant to hear it as my cheeks burned red.

_Hah! I like this guy! He's funny!_ Murasaki's voice piped up.

"S…sorry," I mumbled again. "I was bringing you some breakfast, if you want i-it."

"Hmm…" he studied the bowls of okayu with a critical eye, before scooping it up and slurping it down. I winced. He didn't even bother with chopsticks.

"Needs more freakin' _salt_," he growled before swallowing another mouthful.

If I wasn't staring the seven-foot steel blade he carried, I would've slapped him right there. Someone else did it for me, anyway.

"I think what you should be saying is _'thank you, Kuni-chan, for the excellent food_', Hidan." Kisame-sama's voice echoed down the tunnel. I whirled around, my tray colliding with Hidan (again) as I saw him smiling quietly at me.

I blushed.

Hidan was looking seriously annoyed as he glared at the patiently waiting Kisame-sama. "How the hell does this concern you?"

Kisama-sama still smiled, but I saw his fingers twitch towards the package strapped to his back, and Hidan grudgingly backtrack.

"Fine, fine, whatever he said, Test N—Kuni. Still needs more salt though." He pushed past me, his scythe – now why the HELL DID HE HAVE A SCYTHE? – narrowly missing my head.

"Y-you're w-welcome…?" I questioned his retreating back. Kisame-sama frowned.

"That's the best we'll ever get out of _him_," he sighed.

"I d-don't m-mind. Thank you, K-Kisame-sama."

He grinned, and I noticed his teeth were…pointy. Nothing compared to the blue skin though – his features were so… _fishy_ that Deidara-sama's hands were normal compared to him. "It was nothing, Kuni-chan," Kuni-CHAN? Oh dear. That was the first 'chan' of my _life_, and I wasn't entirely sure I was comfortable with it coming out of Kisame-sama's mouth. "And you need to stop calling me Kisame-sama. It's so formal."

"Uh… Kisame-san, then?"

"Naah."

"Kisame… s-senpai?"

"Over my dead body!" I was vaguely aware of where this was going.

"Kisame…k-k-kun?"

"Very good!"

I pictured the word in my mind. 'Kisame' on its own was silver, but with the 'kun' on the end, it went brownish and blotchy. "W-well, Kisame…kun, I've got to go now. But thank you, very m-much!"

Kisame-kun (why did saying that make me feel uncomfortable and blush at the same time?) nodded and waved goodbye. "Hey – wait, Kuni-chan." _My god, he's too old for me, WAY to old_—"Just one question. Why don't you ever stand up to Hidan?"

_Because you're pathetic, weak, cowardly – a failure rolled up into one stupid fat bundle_

"He's got a three-bladed scythe. And a temper." I said, willing Murasaki to just shut up, just for a minute.

He laughed and touched my shoulder briefly. "Very funny. _I_ personally think he's a scrawny blonde git."

I grinned, feeling absurdly happy when he touched me. "I've actually got one question for you, Kisame-kun. Is that a… a sword you've got strapped to your back?"

He touched my cheek this time, and I felt my face heat up to a frightening degree. "That, Kuni-chan, is something I hope you never have to see." He grinned, winked and walked away.

My cheek was still warm.

* * *

**Hm, I had to cut the chapter off there. It's not a cliffhanger, but I hope it makes for enough suspense. Sorry, readers who want Kuni and Deidara to (and I quote) 'shut the hell up and get together already' XD I love torturing you too much.**

**Three guesses as to who was watching Kuni, anyone?**

**Well, that's all! Please review! I will send you… my eternal gratitude. Meh, I know it's pretty worthless, but be proud of the fact you saved one maniacal fourteen-year-old from going emo.**

**XX Tutti**


	20. Chapter 20

**Yeah! Finally, I hit twenty! Don't particularly like this chapter, but still, hope you enjoy it!**

**Here's the second chapter I'm posting to make up for my... uh, _absence_. **

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

"What's up, Kuni? You look sorta red, un." I glanced at her briefly

"Wha-what? Oh, nothing... just some stuff with Hidan..."

I looked up. "Hidan? What did that slimeball do to you, yeah?" I cast my gaze around her, looking for any telltale bloody gashes. I swear, if he got Kuni into one of his screwed up rituals, I'd-

"It's alright! He was being a foulmouthed jerk and nearly lopped my head off, to be honest, but Kisame-kun was there, so it was alright!" She smiled brilliantly. I felt something thud in my chest.

"He nearly lopped your head off and you call that noth-wait, Kisame-KUN?" Oh no. Oh god no. A tiny ball of anger formed in my gut.

"Um... y-yeah," she blushed. "He calls me Kuni-ch-chan.. and he asked me to call him Kisame-kun!" The knot of anger got bigger. I didn't exactly know why I was so pissed - though I had my suspicions. My own, horrible ideas as to exactly what was going on.

"He ASKED you to call him-!"

"Wait, no, not exactly!" She shook her head in frustration. "Why do you care so much anyway?"

That left me at a blank. Why _did_ I care? More to the point - why did I care so much about the fact that she was wandering around with _Kisame_? He was BLUE, goddammit. There was no way she would ever fall for—_shit_.

"You've got a crush on Kisame, haven't you, yeah?"

"Wha-N-NO!" She sputtered, going even redder. "How did y-you come to TH-THAT conclusion?" Her face told all, and a sick feeling rose in my chest.

"So it's true, un." I sat back with grim certainty. "You don't even call ME 'Deidara-kun!' And you're stuttering, yeah!"

Her eyes went wide and soft, and I felt myself calm a little, felt the dread ebb away slightly. "Y-you never s-said I could call you Deidara...k-k-kun."

"Well," I paused, at a loss and more than a little confused. "Why don't you, un?"

"O-okay." She took a deep breath. "Deidara...kun." She said it slowly, and I knew she was looking for the colours in her head. _Deidara-kun_. It sounded nice, easy, rolling off her lips in the sweetest way.

Ugh. Kuni-CHAN. Why did he get to call her that?

_You rude arsehole, when did you use any honorific at all? And has she ever complained about it? Shut up and suck it._

"Gah!" Her eyes flew open, and I jumped to attention. "I can't call you Deidara-kun!" I personally didn't see why not. "It's too weird!"

Great. Brilliant. Thanks. The blue man had officially managed to woo her in ten minutes, and she felt weird calling her closest friend 'kun'.

"He's too old for you, either way, un." I spoke harshly - harsher than I meant to, really. I just didn't like her blushing when she talked about Kisame. It wasn't...right. He was up to something, and I think I knew what it was.

She bristled. "Murasaki once dated a twenty-five-year-old when she was fifteen! What's the-"

Murasaki. _Again_. Why did _everyone else in her life matter so much to her?_

"The difference? Is that it, un? The difference is that you're YOU, Kuni - smart, funny, weird Kuni, and she's a stuck-up, condescending _airhead_ called Murasaki!" The words spilt from my lips faster than I could control them. Where was all this coming from? I kept going, flashes of memories fuelling every syllable.

"You don't need to be her, un!" Her tiny, bony wrist that day in the kitchen.

"You don't have to listen to her if you don't want to!" Her ashen skin. Her vacant eyes.

"I like you when you're you, un, not when you're tanning yourself or starving yourself to be like stupid, stupid Murasaki!" Her _tears_.

"I don't want you to become anorexic! I don't want to see you slowly killing yourself right in front of me!"

I grabbed her by the shoulders, breathing hard, feeling relieved, now that the words that had been bubbling in me for so long were out. Murasaki - she was the root of the problem. I wanted to wring her skinny neck and then shove a bomb into her brain.

Kuni's face was blank with shock, her body shaking. I realized how much she had actually changed then, paying attention to her stretched-looking skin, seeing how much thinner, smaller her limbs were. Even so, she was-no. Stop it, Deidara. Get a grip.

"D-Deidara-s-sama…" she whispered, and I recoiled, the realisation of what I had just _said_ – _how_ I had said it – crashing over me. Her eyes, blank with shock, my breath hitched, horror choking my throat. What have I done?

"Kuni…!"

"It's…okay. It's…" she paused for a minute, collecting her words, her thoughts. _No no no no no no. Shit shit shit_.

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I kept my eyes steady on his, seeing them fill with shock and horror. I felt his hands gripping my shoulders, and then tearing away, even if I didn't want them to, not at any cost. And I heard his every single word pounding into my head.

That every single word, laced with anger and desperation and fear.

I wanted to speak, you know. But the thoughts and ideas and emotions and her voice – Murasaki's voice – spun around in a sickening whirlpool and I was scared to open my mouth in case they would all come tumbling out.

He said he liked me. For who I was.

_He's lying._

But _why_? What would he gain by lying to make me feel better? And why did I trust so much those blue eyes? Why did his hands simply on my shoulders make me feel safer, then?

_He's LYING_. _You're going to lose him if you trust him._

But how did that make any sense? How could I lose him if I trusted him?

And that's when it hit me.

Murasaki had never, ever made sense.

For eighteen years, I had been trying to mould myself into a _lie._

"Deidara-sama?"

He looked up nervously, and that alone made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. I hesitated again, that confidence leaving me as his gaze met mine, and tried to form my thoughts into a coherent sentence.

"Deidara-sama, I'm hungry."

* * *

"K-Konan-san?" I shifted, wondering for the second time today how to phrase my thoughts. She opened the door, tall and willowy and beautiful as ever, the elaborate blue flower peeking out from her hair. Even though Murasaki was disappearing from my mind, I couldn't help feel a twinge of jealousy.

"Yes, Kuni?" She opened her door wider, revealing a half-finished paper crane in her hands. I bit back a smile – was she _made_ out of paper?

"Ahh… can I… um… can you…y'know—uh…" I yammered away anxiously, until her smile made me shut up.

"Come on Kuni," she said gently. "Don't be shy."

"Please help me make a gift for Deidara-sama!" I yelped in one breath, hiding my face in shame afterwards. Not only did she know I was hopelessly crushing on Deidara-sama now, she was laughing at it.

"A gift? For Deidara? Any special occasion?" She grinned at me, raising an eyebrow as my cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red.

"N-no, it's just to say thank y-you! I w-would make him something s-special to eat, but I do that every d-day anyway…" I trailed off miserably.

"In that case…" god, the anticipation would kill me before the humiliation did. "I'd love to help."

* * *

**Cheesy chapter, but it had to be done. Sorry XD I know I'm pathetic. Don't worry, next one will have slightly more… uh, **_**blood**_** in it? Okay, that's a lie, I can't write about gory stuff convincingly, but at least it won't be all "Oh Deidara! You saved my sorry arse!" and "Oh Kuni, I JUST CALLED YOU FAT! FORGIVE ME!"**

**Eep. I don't think mocking my own work is good for publicity.**

**Please review! Really, I love to hear what you guys think about my writing – no matter if it's you saying you just projectile vomited all over it. **

**XX Tutti**


	21. Chapter 21

**The third update to make up for my lazy arse XD Please review guys! All criticism is appreciated!**

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

_Of course_ there was something wrong with this whole thing. I wouldn't be sitting here with bleeding puncture wounds in my chest – they didn't do any damage to my internal organs (Sasori no Danna wasn't _quite_ that psychotic yet), but that didn't stop Kuni from going almost hysterical.

Hah, it was funny as to how often she was the one cleaning up my wounds, even the smallest ones I wouldn't have given a damn about.

Kuni was silent for the moment, biting her soft lips, her hair falling constantly into her eyes. She stood up, frowning. "_You_ shut up and stay down! I'm getting the medicine kit!"

She pushed me firmly back into the pillows and proceeded to storm around the room, moving random items and achieving absolutely nothing with it. It was… downright _funny_, to be honest, a laugh bubbling in my throat as I watched her. Still, the humour did nothing to stop the edge of worry.

"Honestly!" She yelled suddenly, whirling around and placing her hands on her hips. "What were you thinking?"

I sighed as I tried to think of a plausible explanation. Nothing came, and I resorted to punching the pillow into more comfortable shapes as a way to bide my time. _This was not supposed to happen_.

"Deidara, stop that. You'll only hurt yourself more." She ordered. "I mean, more than you will making _bombs_ go off around you!"

Hey, it wasn't _my_ fault Sasori had decided to get revenge on me for not killing you.

* * *

_**Earlier that day...**_

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

Doves – dozens of them, their wings edged in lacy paper, every colour imaginable. I don't know how many I had made, or for how long I had been making them for – just that my tiny room was a burst of hues. Even the purple and red light cast from Test Number 33's lone sun catcher (I had hung it up in hopes of adding to the collection one day) was lost in the blues and greens and pinks. There was a piece of paper in my lap, depicting Konan-san's diagrams on how to make the tiny birds. A thick silver ribbon threaded onto a bone needle was a little too close to my toes for comfort, but I had gotten into a rhythm and didn't want to break it.

"OI!" A loud voice startled me just as an enormous shadow flitted over the skylight. _What was that?_ It had looked like some huge, slightly misshapen bird, but that may just be because I had been folding those things all morning. But the voice…

"HEY!" Another yell – that seemed to come from, well, _above_ me. It wasn't as loud as the last one, but the flashes of bright orange and green that accompanied it made me stand up in quite a hurry. I stepped carefully around the paper birds and (avoiding the needle) hurried out – but to _where_ exactly, I didn't know.

In fact, it struck me for the first time that even after two months here I had no idea how to get out. I don't think I registered quite how twisted that was – that I had simply been transferred from one cage to another – because the flashes of green and orange persisted. They were vaguely familiar shades, but they were too far away to be sure. **(A/N: I feel strange **_**writing**_** this. Wonder how you guys are faring.)**

Okay. There was no way out. Nothing. Nada. Why was I so curious anyway? The voice had disappeared, and apart from satisfying my own curiosity there was no point in running around. I still didn't feel too good either.

That last thought again dragged my eyes down to my stomach – my slightly smaller stomach, and a lump to form in my throat. It had been surprisingly easy to stop starving myself – but I still couldn't help thinking about what would've happened had I kept going that way. Had Deidara-sama not spoken up.

...Wait. There _was_ a way out.

* * *

Shit, so maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I scrabbled uselessly against the grass, the lower half of my body dangling into empty space, and the crate had _fallen over_. No _WAY_ was I letting Deidara-sama find me in this hopeless position again.

Oh my god, I was going to be stuck here for all eternity.

Still, it was nice to feel the air against my face, feel the long grass brush against me and to smell the heady perfume of the earth. I wouldn't _mind_ staying here—ah, no, my ribs were starting to hurt badly.

I wriggled and corkscrewed a bit, realising that maybe I wasn't as thin as I thought I was. Grabbing the tuffets of weeds I hoisted myself up, panting like anything and just laying there with my cheek squashed against the daisies.

_BOOM!_ The ground reverberated beneath me (my face, to be precise), and I jumped up when I heard a loud – a _familiar_ – laugh. Quickening my pace, my feet struggled to find purchase against the dew-slickened slope as my eyes soaked in the sight presented before me.

My jaw dropped.

It was a wide valley beneath me, formed by two low-lying hills on either side and a third on which I stood - no, hid, instinctively ducking behind the long grass and drinking in the extraordinary sight. One figure stood still on the ground, red hair fluttering in the breeze. Sasori. The other hovered high above the ground on a giant white _bird_ made of some chalky substance. _Deidara-sama._ I squinted, trying to figure out what was going on as, for some reason, my heart started pounding.

Wrenching my eyes away from the sight of Deidara-sama on a gargantuan _bird_, I tried to take in the whole picture. It was then I noticed the mass of auras above Sasori's head – about nine different ones, tethered there by thin orange strands that extended from the redhead's fingers. Puppets. It was silent, like something out of stories, their gazes fixed on each other's – but then Sasori's head turned _ever_ so slightly to the right, like he _knew_ I was there… Deidara-sama's hands drew up and together, his face lighting up, and I realised what was going to happen. I don't know exactly _how_, but I clapped my hands over my ears just the same.

It was a good thing I did too.

_Boom! Boom! Boom__**!**_** (A/N: I feel like a hyperactive three-year-old boy playing with action figures right now. Just to let you know)** More explosions – this time, I could see the flames and feel the heat and air rush over me. A whimper escaped my lips as Deidara-sama laughed in what could only be described as ecstasy, throwing his arms out as sending scores of tiny white bullets – they were _clay_, I realised – towards Sasori's puppets, where they detonated in bursts of fire and noise.

Sasori, on the other hand, was still and silent, though his stance was set, poised, like he was meant to start a race and was waiting for the signal. His fingers barely moved at all, just enough to ensure the puppets didn't disintegrate under Deidara-sama's fire. I tried to figure out what his strategy was – in fact, what his _weapons_ were, apart from a bunch of wooden dolls.

It didn't take long to find out.

A hiss cut through the air as hundreds and hundred of needles – long, thick ones glinting with purple fluid – shot towards Deidara-sama, who barely managed to avoid them. In fact, I don't think he meant to avoid them at all, but suddenly changed his mind. He ducked a few feet lower, now at the same level as the hill-tops. "POISON?" he yelled, eyes wide. "Danna, what the HELL, UN?"

"Shut up and concentrate, brat!" Sasori spat back. What the hell? Why was Deidara-sama calling this fifteen-year-old 'danna'? And why was Sasori using POISON?

It was one massive mess of steel and fire and it was all too much to bear. I kept low behind the crest of the hill, watching the grass turn from green to black every time one of Deidara-sama's mines blew up. What was this, anyway? A… a practice? A game? A _fight_?

The last one struck me and suddenly, everything was a lot more serious. I crossed my fingers, my eyes fixed on Deidara-sama. He was even lower now, his bird a little worn-looking, with Sasori's puppets descending on him. I followed the threads back to Sasori – to his hands, more like. There was something a little off here. Something that didn't quite make sense…

Like why were there only _nine_ puppets? Why not go all out and have ten? Sasori used one finger for each puppet, which left the little finger on his right hand free. As Deidara-sama moved just a little bit lower, it twitched.

I sensed it a second before it happened. A small golden blur behind Deidara-sama. Every fibre of my being wanted to yell out, to warn him of the puppet behind him, but no. I just stood there, transfixed, immobile, as a dozen needles - god, those were no way in hell _needles_ - peppered into his skin, the force knocking him off his bird.

The next thing I registered were my feet racing, knees skidding against the downwards slope, furious words ripped from my lips as Sasori calmly strode over to where Deidara-sama lay facedown.

"You need to keep focused, brat. Your thoughts are wandering." _Your thoughts are wandering?_ That's all he could say to person who fell nearly nine metres after being stabbed by two dozen projectiles?

"Deidara!" I dropped to my knees. "Deidara, are you alright?"

"Mmmm…" he moaned. "All good. What are you doing here, un?" One bright blue eye peered at me, accompanied by half a smirk, and that was enough to send my heart palpitating.

"Never you mind." It seemed like the easiest answer. "You stay there till I tell you to move!" And then I turned to face Sasori. He was looking at me impassively, disdainful, and suddenly, I was very, _very_ annoyed.

"You." I pointed at him.

"Me." He shrugged.

"Don't give me that tone, Sasori!"

"It's all about how you perceive it, actually." He sounded bored, and turned away.

"What I _perceive_ from this situation is that you need a reality check! Apologize to Deidara _now!_"

"He's perfectly alright. You may go."

"No! Who do you think you are, dismissing me? Frankly, I don't care one bit about whether you eat the food I make for you but when you hurt my friends and act an absolute _jerk_, I get _really_ pissed off. Get it?"

"W—" A smirked laced his lips, and I cringed in spite of myself.

"Shut up, Sasori." Deidara-sama spoke from behind us, staggering to his feet. "Come on Kuni, let's go back." His arm found mine and tugged me away.

I cast one look back. Sasori looked like he had just been slapped.

* * *

**(A/N: Back to the present. Enough flash-backing for me)**

"Hey," Deidara-sama's voice brought me back to reality as I grabbed the salve (aloe vera would help) and gauze. This was what, the third time I was doing this? Since when did nineteen year olds need so much medical attention?

"What?"

"I just realised… back there, you didn't call me 'Deidara-sama', un." I blushed, glad he was facing away from me. Why _had_ that happened?

"So?"

"I… I don't know." He groaned as I dabbed the aloe vera over the wounds in his back. "What're you doing, un? That stings."

"I'm applying a salve. Can't hurt more than being _stabbed in the back_, can it?"

"Ouch, that was harsh, Kuni. What's wrong, un?" I didn't answer as I smoothed the gauze over his wounds.

"Turn around." I said shortly. He complied, grinning as my eyes found his… well, his _fantastically_ toned chest.

_Holy SHIT._

"Like what you see, un?" He smirked, smiling wolfishly as I went redder than ever before. _Kill me now, please_.

"N-n-n-no!" But my hands shook along with my voice as I treated the cuts on his front. There was a curious mark on his chest – right above his heart, which looked vaguely like an open, gnashing mouth with swirls for eyes. There was a scar in the centre, which looked like it had been stitched up.

I couldn't help but brush it lightly, and then spent the next few moments battling against my head as to the cause of my audacity. Deidara-sama looked at me curiously, and I stared back, dumfounded. Funny how quickly my attention was diverted.

Deidara-sama reached up… gaze mesmerizing, his hand running down my arm… gripping my hand…pulling me towards him, his lips so close, ever so close…

"You knew, didn't you?"

"Wh—knew what?" I was still in that light headed trance.

"You knew I was going to get hit, un."

* * *

**BAHAHAHA! A kiss? Now? Really?**

**You must be kidding. **

**Lmfao, bad ending aside, I hope you enjoyed that chapter! I had fun writing it – hey, I like writing any chapter including Sasori.**

**Anyway, PLEASE review! I will love you forever and ever :D**

**XX Tutti – writer of bad endings**


	22. Chapter 22

**Aah. Chapter 22. Hope you like!**

**RECAP:**

"You knew, didn't you?"

"Wh—knew what?" I was still in that light headed trance.

"You knew I was going to get hit, un."

**END RECAP STORY START:**

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

My cheeks blanched, and I felt nothing but shock. _How did he know that?_ His face had been carefully controlled, but his gaze burnt into mine.

"I…I really don't know what you're talking about." Breathe in, breathe out. He nodded easily, tugging gently at a lock of my hair (my _god_ he enjoyed seeing me blush, I could tell).

"Of course. I guess I just imagined that scream, un."

The _scream_? It was pure _bait_, and I knew it. But Deidara-sama was like that – he had a way of capturing my attention. I treaded forward cautiously, eyes narrowed but curiosity searing through my chest. "What scream?"

"I heard a scream, un." He looked straight at me as he spoke. "I heard _you_ scream right before I fell, yeah."

"I… I screamed?" I didn't remember anything but that shocked silence, that horrible, all-consuming _fear_ as he fell.

"Yeah, you did, un. Maybe without even realizing it – it happens, you know. Look," he said hurriedly, sitting up. "That day – _ages_ ago, when you told me about those colours and smells you could sense… there was more, wasn't there, yeah? You were hiding something, un."

His eyes were earnest and serious and confident. He knew I had lied that day. He _remembered_ what I had said. Deidara-sama knew I hadn't trusted him enough to tell the whole truth – but now? Now, I trusted him with my_ life_. I trusted him more than words could describe.

"Y-you're right." I said shortly. He nodded. "I'm sorry I lied."

"It's fine, un. You don't need to apologize. But… if, and only if—" he was very adamant on this point "—you're comfortable telling me… what else do you sense, un?"

Well. I had fallen for the bait epically. I didn't mind though – Deidara-sama's low voice and they way he placed his hand on my shoulder – gently, almost _protectively_ – was enough to make me gladly tell someone my secret.

"I sense… people. Everyone has a sort of aura around them – a certain colour, and sometimes smell. I occasionally know where people are hiding, and sometimes even where _things_ are. Like that bomb you planted in the ground once. It doesn't help much though, not unless I'm looking for something and know exactly who or what it is."

"So that time outside Hidan's room…"

"Yeah." There was no need for explanation. Deidara-sama looked fascinated, trying to comprehend the whole idea. He finally spoke up.

"That's… amazing, un. Hey—" he looked up brightly. "Do _I_ have an… aura?

I went pink, but Deidara-sama wasn't mocking me. "Y-yeah, you do. It's… bright green. Spring green. And pepper."

He grinned wolfishly, and I turned from pink to red as I caught his wink. "Pepper, un? Hot, just like me, don't you think?"

"Your ego never fails to amaze me, Deidara-sama."

But I blushed like crazy, because he had spoken _precisely_ what I was thinking.

* * *

I was back in my room – Deidara-sama had told me I needed to relax and do nothing for a while before I died of stress – and back to work among my paper doves. Why doves exactly, I didn't know, but they just seemed to fit. My three days of paper-folding had almost paid off, and now all that was left was to thread them onto the ribbon.

This was my thank-you to Deidara-sama, I suppose. A small one, but I had worked over it nonetheless as a way to thank him for… saving me. I gripped my needle even tighter at that thought as I strung the doves on.

Finally, it was finished. I knotted the end tightly (wanted to use my teeth but there was no _way_ on earth I was going to get saliva over the birds) and looped it over my arm. I really hoped no one would see me.

Obviously not. As soon as I stepped out of my room, a voice called my name. "Kuni-chan!"

"Uh… K-Kisame-kun?" I attempted to hide the doves behind my, but he was too quick, smiling at me.

"What's that there?"

"It's just a…" my brain wouldn't work fast enough to make up an excuse. "It's a gift for Deidara-sama."

He frowned. "For Deidara? What, nothing for your Kisame-kun?" _My Kisame-kun?_ Oh. Oh dear.

"Ah, I-I-I'm s-sorry, K-K—l" He cut me off by laughing loudly.

"Don't worry, Kuni-chan, I'm just joking. But I was thinking… would you like to have dinner with me tonight?" I blushed violently at his words. _Dinner_?

"I…I…" I didn't know what to say, looking into his hopeful face. He made me blush and feel like jelly inside, true, but there was something… forced about him. Just a tiny feeling inside me that told me to run away screaming.

"Great then. See you in the common room this evening. Bye, Kuni-chan!" He winked, waved and walked away, leaving me simply dumbstruck.

I shook my head and made my way to Deidara-sama's room, trying to forget about what happened just before. Knocking gently on the door, I cast my gaze down to my gift one last time.

_It was ugly_.

The countless paper doves I had spent hours making; their tiny wings were squashed and messy, their bodies smudged with dust. They were… _pathetic_.

It came in one great silent, shuddering moment. They were just like me.

I dropped the chain to the floor, my heart pounding and my vision blurring. I turned and ran, not looking back once.

* * *

"Hey, Kuni, you want to go outside, un? I'm leaving in a while, but I have a few hours free, yeah." There was a knock on the door and Deidara-sama poked his head in. I waited for him to pull out the paper birds. _"Oh, and here's the... uh, thing, you made for me. Sorry un, but I don't really want it"_ But he just stood there, smiling and looking expectant.

"I… okay then. Thanks, Deidara-sama."

He grinned, stepping inside and pulling me to my feet like I weighed nothing. "Come on then, we'll go see the sunset, un." He winked and dragged me along.

Outside, the air blew cool – winter was on its way, and the first tinges of pinkish gold already painted the sky. We sat on that same spot where I had gotten my name, staring up at the clouds until I broke the silence.

"Deidara-sama?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I never really understood your, uh, _art_. What _is_ it?"

He smiled excitedly. "You finally ask, un! My art – my art is _perfection_!" He swung out his hands dramatically. "That one tiny second – that moment when it _explodes!_ My art – my art is a _bang!_"

"I…"

"I'll show you," he whispered, lighting up. I nodded, not sure what to expect – something like this afternoon, but to what extent?

"Close your eyes." And I did. "Now come with me." And I did.

I felt the ground beneath me lurch and I squealed, clutching onto Deidara-sama's arm as he laughed. I felt his breath upon my neck. "Open your eyes, un." And so I did.

For the second time today, my mouth fell open of its own accord. We were… we were _flying_. Literally. The wind ran its fingers through my hair as I dared myself to peek over the edge of Deidara-sama's giant bird – the same one as before – and immediately jumped back to the relative safety of his arms. He chuckled again, telling me to relax as he brought the bird to a standstill – a hundred or so feet off the ground.

I finally found my voice. "W-what are we doing up here?"

"Let the show begin, un." He winked and answered cryptically. I watched, fascinated and terrified at the same time, as he reached into the two bags strapped to his side. He pulled out two soft balls of clay, closing his palms around them. When he opened his hand again, there rested a beautifully made butterfly fluttering its wings gently. I let out an 'oh' of amazement, my voice catching. Deidara-sama smiled at me before throwing both arms out, letting free a whole stream of the winged insects. They flitted away until they were just black dots against the sunset. "They're _alive_…" I breathed, but Deidara-sama shook his head.

"Watch, un."

I did, staring out at the horizon. I heard him speak beside me, drawing his hands up together. "KATSU!"

And then – a dozen tiny, bright, intense pricks of light, white-hot, a faint boom. I waited with baited breath as the mesmerizing glow faded, turning to Deidara-sama with a grin on my face.

"Do it again!"

And he did – for the next ten minutes, he made things so beautiful I thought my heart would break in two. Rose petals, birds, even books that flapped lazily into the sunset. And then he would set them off, too far away to make much noise, nothing but patterns of light. I forgot they were breaking, exploding, lost in the lights and wonder and the feel of Deidara-sama's arms brushing mine occasionally –

"Oh!" I yelped as the last of the bombs detonated. Deidara-sama flopped down next to me, eyebrows raised in question. Night had fallen now, and the bird floated back lazily.

"What's up, Kuni?"

"I – I just remembered that I was supposed to have dinner with Kisame-k-kun!" I cradled my face in my hands. "But then you took me here and I completely forgot and he's going to _hate_ me now!" But truth be told, I was slightly relieved I had forgotten. I was downright _glad_ I had forgotten – being with Deidara-sama out here was more fun and a lot easier than being with Kisame-kun down there.

"Did you… want to go, un?" He voice was low, and I turned and faced him, drawing up my courage.

"Absolutely _not_."

He turned away then, looking up at the stars, and I saw him grin.

* * *

**Squee moment there :D Its'all good!**

**Please guys, review? Any writer needs feedback – honestly, even if its just a few words telling me to update, or critiquing my work, it means a lot more than you'd imagine. I'm not begging for reviews or anything, I swear. It's just horribly depressing to spend about four hours writing and rewriting a chapter and then feeling like no one's read it :(**

**Anyway, I hope you guys have a wonderful day! **

**XX Tutti**

**P.S. Yes, I HAD TO use Deidara's catchphrase. No psychotic fanfiction is complete without it :D **


	23. Chapter 23

**It's been a while since I've updated, no? This is such an ****_old_**** story - I almost forgot about it when life got in the way.**

**To whoever is reading; hello. I don't know you and you don't know me but at the moment, at this point in time, you have all my gratitude.**

**To all the people who reviewed this... just, thank you.**

* * *

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I was in the kitchen after what felt like a long time. It was almost noon now – Deidara-sama and I had talked and laughed away after I convinced him to stay, until he told me I looked like a raccoon and should get some sleep. He was gone now, and I amused myself with trying to make cinnamon and garlic work together (I was failing miserably), dragging obscenely heavy pots around with rags wrapped around the handles.

"OI! GIRL!" An almighty bang against the kitchen door made me slam down the pot of water in surprise.

"_WHAT?_—uh, I mean," The water sloshed around as I realised who it was. "Uh—H-Hidan-san? Please do come i-in!" I trilled nervously; Hidan still scared the hell out of me, more so after… the _corridor_ incident.

"Damn _right_ I'll come in! Do you know how bloody _long_ it took to find this place?!" I smiled a little to myself – what was it that Deidara-sama had said, so long ago? Something about Hidan not knowing what a kitchen was, no? But then the door slammed open, and all notions of smiling flew out of my brain as Hidan stood there, menacing and _very, very_ pissed off.

Let me explain something about Hidan. I had _no idea whatsoever as to how I should handle him_. I didn't particularly want to fawn over someone I despised so much, but aggravating him by retaliating would most definitely end with me coming into contact with the end of that three-bladed scythe. So I simply stood there, waiting for him to make the first move.

He then did something that _really_ frightened me.

Hidan smiled.

"Do you know what I heard a few days ago, when I was quietly praying to Jashin?" I had no idea who Jashin was… but I knew_exactly_ what he had heard that day, and my hands went clammy around the handles of the pot.

"N-n-n-no!" I squeaked, moving backwards slightly as Hidan crashed the door shut.

"I heard," he leered, pausing dramatically as I prayed for someone to get me _out_ of here. "I heard a stupid little _bitch_screaming about _blood_."

"B-Blood?! I d-d-don't know what you m-m-mean!" My legs shaking pitifully.

"Yes you goddamn DO!" He yelled suddenly, leaping forward as I skittered around to the other side of the bench, still clutching that cauldron of boiling water – why, I had _no_ idea, but it gave me a little bit of comfort. He stretched across, digging his nails into my shoulders. I clenched my jaw to keep the whimpers in as he glared at me.

"You freakin' _knew_ about the damn blood, didn't you?! How?!" He pushed his face closer to mine, through the steam rising from the water. "HOW?!"

Somewhere in that moment, looking into his half-crazed eyes, a thought crossed my mind. One I did not want to believe. But with absolute certainty, I realised… he already _knew_ how I sensed the blood.

My heart palpitated faster than a hummingbird's wing. I did the only thing that made sense.

Pushing my arms forward, I tipped the scalding water onto his legs.

"HOLY _SHIT_!" He lunged for me, but I skidded out of the way, sobbing wildly and trying to avoid his scrabbling hands as I blinded myself with my own tears. I wrenched the door open as Hidan – oh my _God_ what have I done?! – recovered. Far too quickly for a normal person, I would have noticed, if I wasn't intent on putting as much distance between me and him at that moment. I kicked the door shut behind me as I broke for the – wait, where should I go?! – tunnels; to anywhere that might prove safe.

I skittered left and right, darting into alcoves before shooting out into another corridor. There was nothing but adrenaline born from fear keeping me going, and I was quickly tiring out.

It was pure irony that I ended up outside Deidara-sama's room, of all places. He wasn't even _here_, yet I automatically ran for him. The door was unlocked though, and I flung myself in, diving headfirst into the softness of Deidara-sama's bed. I didn't move, not an inch, my mind to occupied to realise that I was hiding in _Deidara-sama's bed_, of all places, and why that didn't seem wrong in the slightest.

Finally, an hour later, I dared creep out again, back into my room. And finally, a stutter of fear and a trembling blush spread through my skin as I fully registered what I had just done.

* * *

"Someone's been in my room, un!" Deidara-sama exclaimed as he walked into mine, throwing himself down onto the blankets and letting out a groan of contentment. He looked tired, but I could barely look at him as I clenched the pages of the children's book I was struggling to read – some frankly idiotic story about a girl and a pumpkin – a little too hard; Deidara-sama looked at me curiously, my white knuckles not lost on him.

"It was… m-m-me, Deidara-sama."

"_You_, un?! What on earth were you doing in my bed, yeah?" He laughed – and then we both blushed at how very _wrong_ that sounded.

"I was h-hiding… I-I'm sorry."

"In my _bed, _un?" He was laughing openly know, teasing me, and with that, I knew I was forgiven.

"Well, it's less obvious than _my_ bed! And you left your door open!"

"I did?" He looked confused.

"Of course! I'm not exactly capable of picking locks, am I?"

"You never know with girls, un."

"Sexist bastard." I drawled, but my insides were glowing with happiness, and why? For the simple fact that Deidara-sama saw me as a _girl_. My god, I was a disgrace.

"Says the one who barged into my room, yeah."

"Hey! Look who's talking!"

He grinned at me. "Alright, point taken, un. Why were you hiding anyway?"

My good humour evaporated as I remembered Hidan's words – Hidan's _eyes_ which betrayed the truth. "I'd rather not talk about it." I said shortly.

"Alright, un," he tipped his head sideways, studying me. "Hey – I've got something for you!" He brightened, bounding closer.

"For m-me? W-what is it?" Knowing Deidara-sama, it was probably a bomb in the shape of a puppy.

"Close your eyes, un!" Oh dear. _Definitely_ a bomb. But I did anyway, and felt something thin, fluid and knotted – a chain, maybe? – being pressed into my palm, along with small knobbly things.

And then I felt his cool breath on my neck, goosebumps erupting on my skin and a delicious shiver tickling down my spine. "I would have made them out of paper, un, but that would've been a horrendous failure on my part, yeah."

My eyes flew open. "You… you _kept_ it?" An image of my poor, battered paper doves flickered past my eyes, and I looked down at my gift for the first time. It was a long silver chain, dozens of little white-clay doves hanging from it, wings outstretched, every tiny feature perfectly made. "It's _beautiful_, Deidara-sama – thank you!" I flung my arms around the blonde as he grinned sheepishly.

"You're welcome, un." He pulled back. "Here, you can hang it from the ceiling like your suncatcher, un. There are hooks at either end."

I grinned, feeling absurdly, wonderfully happy. These tiny clay birds were _beyond_ beautiful, to me. "I'll put it up right now!"

Of course, this was easier said than done. I pulled up the low wooden crate and looked for crannies in which I could secure the hooks – it was hopeless, goddammit, and Deidara-sama watched in amusement as the chain slipped from my grasp once again. I had been looking up for so long I felt dizzy. "Urghhhh!" I whined, and he finally took pity, coming up to stand behind me.

"Here, let me help, un. Your parents must've been tiny, yeah."

"They were _not!_" I proclaimed hotly, but he just laughed, his chest again my back sending a thrum through my whole body and a blush to unfurl across my cheeks. Thank _god_ he couldn't see my face. My voice failed me as my heart sped up to the point where I was _sure_ he could hear it. He raised his arms, fingers brushing mine as he took the chain from and moved my arms down. I felt cocooned, for those brief moments, his cloak draped around me, the solid warmth of his body, his lips so close to my hair –

"Kuni? You alright, un?" My body was swung around as my brain struggled to clear itself. Deidara-sama looked at me curiously, with an intensity that was sure to coax a blush. "Seriously, un, you blank out so much…" his voice tapered off, replaced, by a thick, heavy silence.

Silence in which we stood there, his hand on my shoulders – now a familiar pose – eyes burning into mine.

Time froze, in that moment as we stood there, so close – so utterly, totally transfixed. I lost myself, I think, looking into his face, that bright blue gaze overwhelming. My heart beat too fast, intensely aware of how our skin barely touched, of how our faces were just inches apart.

Yes, time froze, and in that second, I kissed him.

I don't know why or how or even when it really happened, but suddenly, with the clarity of crystal-glass, I realised we embraced each other, lips unmoving in the softest, slightest, sweetest kiss. I couldn't describe it, not even if I wanted to – and I _didn't_ want to to. All I needed to do was to feel, to lose myself in that moment of complete perfection as his mouth pressed harder against mine and—

"K-Kuni." He tore away, and I smiled at him, still lost in that deliriously happy state.

"Kuni… _no_."

_No_. That one word, that one syllable was all that could've pierced through my ecstacy, and it did. It shattered my everything in one terrible moment. I studied his face in desperation, looking for some of the joy I had felt. And then realisation hit me, and I was doing the only thing I was ever good at.

Running away.

* * *

**If you're reading this part too - you are wonderful, and I thank you again.**


	24. Chapter 24

**~~||~~||~~ Kuni's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

_And, but… oh god, what'll I say to him?… so, the_

"Kuni."

_that, in, you… he'll HATE me… to…why did I kiss him? Why was I so stupid? Of COURSE he doesn't like me in that way, I mean, look at me—_

"Kuni."

_And, but_—"Wh-what?" I jumped, slashing a thick white line over the words I was learning, the chalk snapping in half under the quailing look Itachi-sama gave me. I blinked a little – I felt hazy, jellylike.

"Are you alright?" He looked at me blankly – it was strange, his concerned words didn't fit in at all with his facial expression. I shrugged the feeling away, forcing myself to look back at him even though chills clawed up my spine.

"Y-yes, I'm fine, Itachi-sama. Just c-concentrating on the words!" My palms grew sweaty as his eyes bored into my head. I was slightly distracted though… a certain _someone_ haunted my thoughts at the moment.

"Hm. Are you sure you're not just using my room as a hideaway?" I gulped. The words were so sudden and matter-of-fact.

"Of c-course not!" I trilled. If it was Deidar—uh, _him_ here, he would see through my lie instantly, but then maybe Itachi-sama would assume I always stuttered.

"No, I have a feeling you're hiding from… ah, Deidara. Did he hurt you?" _Yeah, he did, thanks for caring_—wait, how the _hell_ did he figure that out? How did he know about…

"No," I said quickly, before my tongue ran away without my brain. "I'm not hiding from anything nor a-anyone."

"I think you're lying, Kuni. Something's happened, I'm sure of it." Half of me was amazed and shocked that he knew what was going on – the other, slightly annoyed at him for bringing my predicament to light (it was bad enough inside my head, thanks). I shook my head doggedly, but he pressed on, leaning across the table and folding his hands over mine. I flinched so severely he looked almost wounded.

_"Kuni…" he gripped my fingers tighter, a sick feeling worming its way up my gut. "This is_ _something to do with colours, isn't it?" His voice grew curiously smooth, and my gaze was pulled inextricably to his red eyes…oh god, they were hypnotising, mesmerising…_

_I found myself nodding to everything he said, my mind sluggish, his crimson stare like a magnet. "You've let slip so much about these _colours_ you see… and hear…and taste, Kuni, haven't you?" Had I? He nodded, as if guessing my thoughts…oh, I must have._

_"Why don't you tell me about your strange skill, Kuni?"_

_"N-n…I-I d…" He squeezed my fingers – and I recoiled._

_His fingers were so cold…nothing like Deidara-sama's… _wait, Deidara-sama?

"Wha-wha-what just happened?!" I stumbled from my chair, gulping in air like I hadn't tasted it for days. My mind was strangely… hazy, my thoughts fragmented and in no hurry to right themselves. Itachi-sama looked at me coolly.

"You started gibbering something about colours, and then moved onto the topic of Deidara." _WHAT?_ "If you are here to learn, Kuni, please keep your girlish fantasies away." He spoke briskly, eyes scanning over my uneven white-chalk letters without a trace of emotion.

"B-but I'm _sure_ I s-said n—"

"You've written the letter 'N' backwards here," he cut me off, handing the little board back with an air of solid finality. I set it down, for once not at all bothered about what I had done wrong. Ugh, my brain just seemed so… _blank_. All holey and jagged around the edges.

"I'm… going now." I scooped up the empty plates and bowls, heading out into the (comparatively) bright tunnel, all without Itachi-sama looking at me once.

**~~||~~||~~ Deidara's PoV ~~||~~||~~**

I was in the _last_ goddamn place I wanted to be – in front of a wooden _puppet_ while my own emotions fought like starving dogs over a piece of meat inside my chest.

"So, Test Number 37 finally opened up to you." Sasori no Danna's voice sounded faraway and tinny through the blood pounding in my ears – again, that _kiss_ came back to me, unbidden.

Oh God… her _lips_, so indescribably perfect. Her body pressed against mine. Her eyes, happier and more beautiful than I had ever seen them. And I had screwed it up, let her get away – not because I was stupid, no, but because I was a filthy, pathetic _coward_.

How many times had I imagined that one moment, where her mouth met mine? How many times had my mind drifted from the task at hand to daydreams of Kuni? I was doing it even now, for heaven's sake, while a man armed with senbon and poison and a _wicked_ temper glared at me.

I cleared my throat, scattering those thoughts away as I stared down at a folder without making any sense of it whatsoever. "Uh….yeah, un…" I nodded absently.

"Brat." Danna's eyes zoned in on me, impatient and annoyed. "Spit out whatever's bothering you so much so we can get on with it. Don't waste my time." It was such a typical Sasori thing to say.

I sighed and shook my head. "It's nothing, Danna. What were you saying?"

He stared at me for a few more moments before continuing. "Now's your chance to convince her to—brat, _really_, your attention span is that of a five-year-old!" He changed track suddenly, snapping me back to attention (bite me. I had other things on my mind!) "Do not insult my intelligence by attempting to hide your emotions, Deidara. Something has happened – most probably involving Test Number 37, knowing your complete idiocy, and I _must_ know of it."

He spoke quickly, and I groaned in defeat, knowing there was no way out of this. I would have to weather Danna's rage after all. "Well," I spoke hesitantly, trying to break this slowly. "She…Kuni, I mean… well, she _kissed_ me."

Sasori no Danna's derisive snort made me clench my teeth – here was another person treating Kuni's feelings like _crap_. "Was it really that terrible?" He muttered scornfully – but there was something… different in his expression. Wistfulness, almost. _Curiosity_, almost. "Ah, but that only makes it easier for us. If she's fallen for you – God knows why though – it'll be a simple matter of making her…" he tapered off then, looking at me strangely. "Deidara," he said patiently. "_What did you do after she kissed you?_"

I dropped the bombshell then. "I…I rejected her." The notion was even harsher when I said it, and it _hurt_, it killed me because if this was any other situation – any other bloody situation, I would've kissed her back without a second thought.

Sasori no Danna was silent, his limbs unmoving, and for a moment, I thought he had gone comatose. No such luck though – barely three seconds later Sasori was _back_, and so deadly calm it sent a shiver of dread through my body.

"You rejected her." I curled my toes, not daring to say anything. Of course I bloody rejected her. You think I enjoyed it, Danna? You think I didn't know that whatever I did, she would be _killed in the end_?

"You _rejected the one girl you're SUPPOSED to keep happy_."

More silence on my part, though I knew I was shaking from the anger coursing through me. At that point, the Akatsuki could go to hell. The whole _world could go to hell_ if I could kiss Kuni without it being a death sentence for either of us.

"Do you know how _inconvenient_ this is?"

But the fact was there was no way out of this hole I had dug for myself. I was too much of a coward to break free, I was trapped within this web of power and lies and desperation.

There it was, the simple, plain truth. _I was too much of a coward_.

And maybe that's why I nodded and listened to Sasori without a second thought.

**~~||~~||~~ Third Person ~~||~~||~~**

It was late afternoon when Kuni and Deidara, y'know, _bumped into each other_. Kuni was trudging about nervously, sneaking from one tunnel to the next like someone armed with a knife was after her (she was considering hiding in the tunnel with the chasm in it, but then decided her life was _that_ hopeless.) It gave her plenty of time to muse on the Itachi affair – when she wasn't dying over the memory of That Kiss, of course.

So far, she hadn't made much sense on either.

She rounded a corner after much careful scrutiny (left and right about four times each) – and instantly jumped back, because really, _how the hell had Deidara gotten there?_

"D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DEIDARA!" She screamed (her stuttering really was something to behold, about three times as bad as usual).

Deidara laughed, his insides clenching with self-loathing "Kuni, you sound like a broken tape!" To which Kuni just looked on perplexed, both at the unfamiliar expression and the fact that _Deidara didn't seem to remember the kiss at all_.

"I…" she mumbled before stumbling off into the opposite direction, her cheeks burning with shame, brow furrowed in confusion. She had nothing to say to him, nothing which didn't convey two things she desperately wanted to hide – her hurt and her desperation.

"Hey, where you running off to? I've got a question to ask!" With two long strides, he had caught up with her, wanting nothing more than to press her against the tunnel side and press his mouth against hers. But he didn't, dammit, because _Sasori_ was watching.

"Y-y-y-yeah?" She buried her face deeper into the scarf wrapped around her neck. Was this it? Had he really not forgotten after all – had _it meant something to him_? Kuni's heart pounded with an intensity almost too hard to bear.

"Please listen to the whole story" _Thud. Thud. Thud. _This was it, he was going to say it was a mistake, he didn't mean to push her away, he was surprised, confused—whatever!

"Oh…kay…" Kuni's voice quavered with hope. Deidara saw that hope, and guilt and heartbreak drove lance-like into his chest.

But he caught a glimpse of Sasori, and kept going. "I've been doing some research." He looked somewhere above Kuni's left ear as she stared at him blankly, a little let down. "On your colours."

_Research on my mental condition. That's what he wants to talk to me about. Not the fact that I gave myself to him and he tossed me away, but my stupid, damn COLOURS._ Kuni seemed to crumple before Deidara's eyes, and he _hurt_, y'know, like someone had punched him and cracked a few ribs in the process.

"A-a-a-and?" Kuni managed to splutter while forcing her tears back.

"And I have a theory, but you need to co-operate with me on it."

_'I don't care about it! I want to know where we stand, Deidara! I want to know if I ever have a chance with you or if I'll look like a fool pining my life away!'_ Kuni looked up, her vision misty with unshed tears. Shit, she was such an overdramatic idiot. Why did it mean so much to her, that kiss? It was just an infatuation – puppy love – it would pass, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't it?

"What is it?" _Why do I feel like I'm dying?_

"I need you to _teach_ me how to see the colours."

Kuni nodded vaguely, too numb to do much else. She registered a snippet about teaching someone, but what did it matter? Kuni was the kind of person who always said yes. Yes, of course, no problem, how wonderful. And even at this point she was too much of a goddamn _doormat_ to wonder why her heart was breaking. "Sure." Anything for you.

"Great!" Deidara choked. It was over, then. Kuni's time was almost over, because she had finally agreed.

If Kuni had been paying more attention, she would have noticed Deidara hadn't said 'un' or 'yeah' at all, and that should have sent off little red flags straight away.

If Deidara had been paying more attention, he would have seen that Kuni wasn't hearing him at all, wasn't _seeing_ him, even, that she was agreeing to everything like a puppet.

But both of them were wrapped up in their own silent agony, and neither of them noticed Sasori walking by with a self-satisfied smile.


End file.
